dating days

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I don’t know how the Korean scriptwriters do it. But heck, EVERY SINGLE drama that I have watched, have always brought me back to the dating days with the hubby. It is a good thing! It really does help to remind me that I really love this guy haha.

Just so you know okay, Mr Ting.

The latest drama I am watching, Hospital Ship, reminded me of the days when I was just into Donald. Feeling flustered when I saw him, crashing his class sometimes, hiding away with a friend if he happened to be in the same shop as I was (come on, Hobart was only THAT big). We would meet up with friends and he would pop over for dinner gatherings. We had a couple of chats into the late night.

Like really late.

Then the early days of dating post drunken confession from him *roll eyes*. I had a 2-week return period, where if any point within the two weeks I felt uncomfortable with our relationship, I would be able to call it quits and he should not contact me. Obviously it never happened.

But it was nice to be reminded of the early days. I had been reading a fair few ‘stories’ on a social media platform on wives complaining about their husbands not doing enough, husbands complaining that their wives are lazy, or a spouse ranting over stuff and wanting a separation. There is nothing wrong in ranting, it is an outlet afterall for people to vent, and hopefully seek some advise or look at things from another POV. I am not in their shoes, nor can I ever be.

It was getting a little too negative but it reminded me of how fortunate I am to be in the life that I have.

I have been loved very well by a man who can keep my love tank filled regularly. Not with flowers or gifts, but making sure I get my rest, I am emotionally and mentally supported. He recently took over putting Sarah to bed together with the boys. To be honest, I have not had the opportunity to put 3 kids to bed in one go YET. But he has done it with ease.

My hero! hahahah. Seriously. For being able to sleep through the night peacefully, I will do everything else! =P

photo taken by Derrick Ong Photography

To you, I will always remember the first time I kissed you. The first time I felt my heart a flutter as I realised I had a crush on you. How I felt as you held me in the cramp toilet and told me you liked me and asked if I liked you. All these I remember as though as they happened yesterday. 

I had many firsts with you, and I am glad that they were with you and no one else. 

Can’t wait for the many more adventures and memories that we may have together. I hope we get to grow really old together. 

xoxo
me

 

Category: Daily

woes of parenting

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To my three children,

if you only knew how much each of you mean to me.

How you were connected to me in-utero via an umbilical cord and hence, creating that little belly button of yours.

How each of your every achievements are my joy and pride, and each hurt and disappointment, my pain.

What hurt the most was not seeing you appreciate the things that were given to you at times. And it showed earlier today, and I raised my hand to smack you, Ollie, and you, Quentin. Sarah, you cried as your brothers yelped in pain. You weren’t sure of the me that was disciplining your brothers.

I was tired and frustrated. I felt like a failure, failing to raise my children properly. How could I instill the love that I had for them and have them translated into action?

I had a 6 year old who was nonchalantly eating his dinner, ignoring the fact that there was a 6.45pm deadline to keep the toys, otherwise it will go into the bin. Why? Because he didn’t really care for the toys anymore, and couldn’t be bothered about whether they went into the bin or not. Afterall, his brother was the one who played more with it.

I had a 4 year old who wanted everyone to ‘suffer’ with him and refused to keep it alone. The task was ‘boring’ and ‘it would take forever’. This was despite trying to explain to him earlier today that keeping the toys properly was for the next user, and to ensure that the toys were being taken care of properly.

This is despite drilling into them that they had to keep their toys at the end of the day, EVERY FUCKING DAY. This is despite telling the 4 year old that he will have shit loads of stuff to put away when he kept taking drawers of train tracks out from his room.

‘I will keep it later’ he had said. I gave him the benefit of doubt and held him to it. Was I stupid to do so? He is only 4 year old after all.

Maybe I had too much expectations of the 6 year old. He is..smart afterall. And I don’t mean that in a boastful way. It is so enjoyable to have a conversation with him because he speaks like an adult, and ask adult questions. I can explain concepts and principles to him and he understands it quickly. It was just so much easier to discipline him, to explain the rationale behind my actions.

The 4 year old is on another plane altogether. Trying to deal head on with him brings out the childish side of both Donald and I. It really does, it makes us mimic his behaviour just so that he can get a taste of his own medicine. But at the end of it all, he doesn’t get the morale of the story.

It made me question, what was it that I had done in my every day interactions with them that made them this way? What was it that I had ended up instilling into them?

Smacking obviously wasn’t the answer. I apologised for smacking them, and I had the 6 year old not angry at me anymore, and the 4 year old saying ‘no problem!’. And we all agreed to try again tomorrow.

The baby of the family is an empath..sorta. She cries when she sees her brothers in pain. She cried when she saw me crying whilst disciplining Oliver. I picked her up and she was stroking my face and crying as I teared. And tonight, she requested that she got put to bed in her cot when our usual was to co-sleep together until she fell asleep before I transferred her into her cot.

Are our co-sleeping days over, just like that? I should be glad she wants to sleep on her own I guess. Donald was just complaining about how Sarah needs her space and would fuss each time she came into contact with Quentin in the single bed. I rolled my eyes. Tell that to the dad who wants to co-sleep with his daughter EVEN THOUGH she is ready to sleep on her own bed. Good one.

This game of parenting, so tough, so arduous the journey. A love hate relationship/ Trying to maintain that balance between sanity and insanity, not wanting the kids to turn away from me. Setting that groundwork and building it up together for the years ahead.

Will you still love me tomorrow?  I sure as hell hope so, cos I love you guys shitloads.

Category: Daily

This June

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The last week of school is usually a little more hectic. There are some school holidays because of the preparation for parent-teacher meetings, and then for the parent-teacher meeting it self. Everyone is kinda on a holiday mood, but this year I had no direction absolutely. No idea where I was going to be taking the kids to, nor what I was going to do with them.

I was dreading the school hols. I was still in a funk, and given certain circumstances, I was exhausted. Torn between wanting to cater for the knowledge thirsty Oliver, to a chillax Quentin, to a little shadow/tag-a-long Sarah who just has to sit in the stroller wherever we went. I was absolutely dreading it. But winging it was probably the best thing we did ever.

We had some play dates, we went for outings at Gardens By the Bay, for media events, for a Biodiversity exhibition, a Singapore Police Heritage Centre tour. We took our time, and sweltered in the heat. Some times, Daddy Ting took days off and we went to Pulau Ubin, Singapore Zoological Gardens and he took them to a playground at Sembawang Park whilst I was at a meeting. Some days the grandparents took them out, for a play, for a cycle in the park, for meals. Last week, a cousin took the boys out to Sentosa and a swim.

It ended up being a super packed June holidays and time couldn’t have flown any faster. And it ended up being one of the best June holidays I have had with the kids. There were many firsts for all of us and I am so so glad we did all of it together.

It was heartwarming to watch the two boys entertain themselves on the long train rides. Sometimes Quentin would pack an activity book along and do it on the ride, Oliver would bring a book along. Sarah would be happy snacking, or if she got bored, the boys would take turns to entertain her in their nonsensical way.

The three would gamely pose for photos, and if I needed help, the boys would be ready to give me a hand. It was awesome to see them enjoying themselves and just fooling around outdoors.

The time spent with them made me appreciate them a lot more for each of their idiosyncrasies. It made me appreciate the time the boys were ready to help when I needed it. It made me appreciate that time spent with each of them is precious and that they will remember it. It reminded me that each of them are different and I need to spend some one on one time with them whenever possible.

It reminded me that they will grow up quickly. I can only hope that we are still as close as we are now when they grow up.

Category: Kids, Outdoor, Special