Category Archives: Parenting

2017:老豆

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Dear 三只马骝,

Yes, you. The 9 month old too. Why are you cruising so quickly?? We barely had time to enjoy your babyness and bam, there you are standing and cruising around at 9 months old. I think I saw you letting go and trying to stand on your own for the past couple of days.

Bah.

Tomorrow’s Father’s Day. So what have you kids gotten planned? Meh. Who am I kidding. What can a 5.5yo, 3.5yo and 9mo come up with?

So…last year I wrote you kids a letter about your 老豆. How has things been for the past one year?

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Dear Daddy Ting, 

daddy ting & his toys

Happy Father’s Day! You wonder about all this hype about Father’s Day. You gripe about expensive meals on this day. You bemoan about the crowd every where. You stare at the boys and struggle between wanting to take them out and getting work done.

So, let your dear wifey put things into perspective for you this year! This 18th June, it would be the..

37th year of your life;
12th year of our courtship:
7.5th year of our married life;
5.5th year of fatherhood; and
1st year as a father of three kids.

Three kids leh. Three kids are the new norm. Haha. I remembered the day you told me ‘two kids is too mainstream’. 

So let’s walk down along memory lane cos as you age, your memory fails you. Actually, scrap that. You just got shitty memory. *roll eyes* Come on, I’m pretty sure the wivess out there will agree their husbands never remember significant moments.

I remembered the morning I told you I was pregnant with Oliver. You came home from your morning run and barely had time to catch your breath, sweat dripping down your face when I excitedly told you.

I remembered the day I told you I was pregnant with Quentin. I sent you the photo of the test kit and you were cautious to not feed my excitement cos of the chemical pregnancy we had the month before.

I remembered the night I told you I was pregnant with Sarah. I had wanted to keep it a secret but I just couldn’t. She was to be our very special baby cos of so many reasons.

The moment you laughed over the phone when I told you we were having a girl. It was the laughter that came out of your heart. The special kind of laughter I love cos I so rarely hear it. And I smile to myself as I type this.

When we got together, it was hard to imagine you being around kids. We moved to Perth and you got to know a little girl who would call your name. Even then I thought you were awkward around kids.

Then you had kids. You told me about what kind of father you would like to be to the kids. I’ve seen the look on your face that shows how much you are bursting with pride over your eldest child; the look on your face that shows how bad you feel after you discipline your middle child; and that look on your face that shows amazement and wonder at your youngest child.

The way you laugh as you get outsmarted by your kids;
The look of resignation as your kids grin cheekily at you;
The way you excitedly tell your kids about Michael Jackson and they are more interested in Backstreet Boys (hahahahahahaha).
The way you moaned about how your kid beat you to breaking their arm;
The way you rush into your son’s room the moment you hear he is having a nightmare;
The way you exclaim ‘mayday mayday!’ when your son gags and pukes, and then having to comfort him later.

Best of all, how that fatherhood really suits you well with that *pats* tidy belly of yours. =P Thanks for finishing up what the boys cannot finish so I dun grow too fat. hahaha

There are articles about how the husband should start helping to take photos of their wife with the kids, cos mummy is always taking selfies with them. Let me speak for the SAHM me. For every 5 selfies I take with the kids, there is only one photo of you with the kids. I live the moment with the kids; you live that moment through photos. You get the updates from me, from the kids.

I’d be more than happy to stick with the selfies and take more photos of you and the kids, so that all of us will have our moments.

So have your moment tomorrow with the kids, I’ll be taking the photos. Happy Father’s Day, Daddy Ting. Couldn’t ask for a better man to be the father of my kids.

love,
Mummy Ting.

Category: Daily, Parenting, Special

adulting: age is just a number?

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almost a month ago, I turned 35. There I said it.

to be honest, it feels weird to say that I am 35. I often joke to my younger friends that I feel older. But then again, I..don’t really feel 35. I do feel younger (denial much..haha). Donald is older than me..so maybe that’s why I always feel younger, so yay!

Then heck..I have 3 of these and they remind me every day that I am old.

my jazz band

Not verbally, but the aches and pains that I feel. To think about it..I have been babywearing my kids full on for the past..5 years or so. My knees are going to give out soon man. I get frequent backaches and I see a chiropractor for my neck and lower back pain. Donald is in a better shape than me, err aches and pains wise. Not figure =P

Big shoutout to my chiropractor, Dr Richard Kissun at Kissun Chiropractic! You can contact them at 6243 2191 for a consult.

Just put Sarah to bed..and the thoughts that ran through my mind were..

should I fold the laundry now? about 4 loads on the laundry chair now.
i should go clear the stuff outside now. drats, the dining table looks horribly messy again. let’s see what I can clear.
oh hang on, empty the tub, then clear the dining table.
i’m so sleepy tho. maybe I should sleep early. but Sarah’s asleep now..if I don’t do this now, I won’t get any done tomorrow. dammit.
..
oh drats, we haven’t helped Quentin with his school project. And it’s almost the end of the school term.
…homework, remind me to ask Oliver about his homework tomorrow.
…accounts, I think I’ll start tomorrow. I need sleep.
oh CRAP. I still haven’t booked Sarah’s 9 mth appointment at the polyclinic. 

Deciding to sleep..doesn’t end my train of thought. It goes on, as though I needed constant reminders to myself before I commit them to memory. My memory is the shits now. I have notes written everywhere..just in case.

Cos you know..my brain is trying to remember many things sequentially and my husband tells me to stop multi-tasking. Riiiight. I thought I might try and write down what exactly that I’m reminding myself and I gave up. I don’t even know where or how to begin hahaha.

So..Donald and I spent this arvo..adulting. Latest buzzword leh, adulting. I’m no millenial (or am I? dammit, 1982, counted anot ah?). We decided to be good parents, and good husband and wife, and tidy up some admin work for the 5 lives in this household.

A few years back, Donald and I did our wills at my insistence. We are parents, and I felt that we needed to be prepared for the worst at any time. It is a morbid and emotional process, but it had to be done. It made us sit down and think about the people around us, and who we could really depend on. We needed to pick the right people who believed in our values and would act in our interest, to be the guardians for the children. Moments like this, you truly realise who are the ones you can depend on.

The will is but just one tool to protect the kids. We had to write down a list of everything we owned, the details and the access. I was about to get Donald to write down a simple list and I would type it out. Surprisingly, he said that we should write it by hand.

eh? 

A digital copy leaves room for hacking and amendments, making it vulnerable. Unless there is gonna be someone who can imitate Donald’s chicken scratchy handwriting, I think having it handwritten makes it safer.

The lengths we go to to make things easier to process in the event we pass away. Make me feel…so grown up and responsible. Wah lao.

Then I tidied up our insurance policies and did up a payment schedule so that we could see how poor we’d get at certain months. It’s like really damn poor lah!! But argh..coverage..and protection so that we don’t burden anyone around us. T_T so much expenses.

Btw, if you are looking for an NTUC Income agent, please look for Kenneth Han. I swear by him cos if not for him, I would not have ever learnt about using my child’s Medisave for hospitalisation plan premiums! I also wouldn’t have learnt about the new Maternity 360 standalone plan for pregnancy too but wah lao, it like came too late lor. People give birth liao, then come up with this policy. Previously they had a Ladies Rider for hospitalisation plan but I wasn’t with them for my hospitalisation. Oh wells..wasted. But yes, he is my go-to guy when I got any insurance related questions, even plans not by Income. Hahaha I think he very boh eng when I keep asking him about maternity or kids related stuff. #notasponsoredadhor #realtruth

After done with insurance..then I had to check my poor bank balance. I’m a low risk taker, so means I would rather keep my money in the bank. I would keep the money under my mattress lar, but no interest, so next is to put it in the bank lor. I know nuts about investments and don’t think I am willing to do so. Had to start thinking about saving for the kids’ education!

T_T As the kids grow older..that’s where the expenses really start racking up man.

Been trying to squeeze as much out of ah kong as possible, being in the sandwiched class. You know..not poor enough to get more subsidies (ie. CHAS), but at the bottom of the next benchmark. Kua kua. But hey, we cool okay. Just manage within our means lor.

So what we’ve squeezed so far is from CDA and Medisave grants. Quentin’s racked up quite a bit of medical bills which we used his CDA to pay for (when we didn’t know about the Medisave grant yet), so there isn’t much left to pay for school fees..until jeng jeng jeng jeng! Can tap into Sarah’s CDA to pay for school fees too! Phew. That is effectively give us 50% discount on school feels liao. Thankyouberrymuch, ah kong! I only knew that we could use sibling’s CDA to pay for medical fees, didn’t know it applied to school fees too. Err, thank you Sarah hor.

Just a couple of weeks ago, I made the husband relook at his tax submission cos I realised that there was so much we could claim as a tax deductible. Parenthood tax rebate, insurance tax rebate, Qualifying Child Relief, Working Mother’s Child Relief (er, not me lah..not yet but one day!). Can claim quite a fair bit leh. Sure as hell bring me back to the days where I would scrutinise my tax and try as reduce my taxes cos I was a poor student in Australia. Very painful to pay AUD$8k in taxes. So very very thankful for low tax rates in SG.

Man..we are only 5.5 years into being parents..I think the real deal is starting soon. Next year, we’ll say hello to textbooks, uniforms and stationery.

Category: Daily, Kids, Parenting

[SC Sept’16] Daddy’s Girl

How apt that this month’s issue of Singapore’s Child would have an article about the role of a father in the parent-child relationship. Especially with the arrival of Sarah two weeks ago!

In particular, the presence of a father in the home not only improved the well-being of girls, it helps in their psychological development and even determines the kind of relationships they seek.”

daddys-girl

After having two boys, we were totally clueless about raising a girl. Daddy Ting had always been adamant that his role only came in when the boys were older. The first years of their lives, he mostly left it up to me to handle the kids. We still co-parent, but I would be the main caregiver and would be the one to cater to the boys emotional and mental needs. With the boys, I had read the book Raising Boys by Stephen Biddulf to brace myself on bringing up the boys. The book had also mentioned that the authoritative father figure role would come into play later in their lives where they started looking for a role model to look up to.

What about girls then? Does that mean that I would be the only person catering to her needs..well, since I would be her authoritative figure? Turns out that Daddy Ting does have a huge role to play in her life. Especially in how she would view the opposite sex as she grows through the various stages of her life. Even how Daddy Ting would treat me as his wife would impact on her views about the opposite sex!

So, AHEM, Daddy Ting, if you want your daughter to find a good man, you gotta treat me better hor! =P

Having said that, we are really in the midst of figuring out how Daddy Ting will eventually play a role in Sarah’s life.

Apart from this article, this month’s issue of Singapore’s Child also covers other topics like home-schooling, helping children deal with death, and how much your baby would cost you (apparently $18k!).

Of course and also not forgetting the giveaways that you can enter, such as:

Beat Bug Kits: BEAT BUGS is an animated series inspired by the music of the Beatles! The series revolves around the charming, funny and adventurous bug pals – Jay, Kumi,Crick, Buzz and Walter. Singapore’s Child is giving away 5 sets of BEAT BUGS Kits – perfect for families to jam together to your favourite Beatles tunes on the show! ;

Nickelodeon Goodie Bags; good grief, I should totally win one of these cos my tv has been LOCKED ON NICK.JR for like 3 years! I barely get to watch other channels..*grumbles*

 – The Amazing Timmy & Tammy Activity Books: the boys absolutely love their series of localised books and will definitely love the activity books!;

and much more giveaways that you can find here!

Disclaimer: tings.sg is the Digital Partner for Singapore’s Child and I received a complimentary issue of the magazine for review purposes. All opinions are solely mine and are written as objectively as possible. 

Category: Ad, Parenting, Reviews