Category Archives: Parenting

being spoilt…by the kids.

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Oliver had been a little clingy lately. Clingy in that he didn’t want to go to school; he didn’t want to stay over at his grandma’s over the weekend. It became a little frustrating to get him to school. He would tear, he would cling on to me and then cry when I left him in the arms of his teacher.

So last Friday, I decided that the boys and I would go for a nice lunch (thanks Daddy Ting! hahaha). And we had a fantastic time. The boys were so cooperative, especially Oliver that I was super duper impressed.

I got him home from school, packed the backpack, grabbed the stroller and off we went.

I told him that he had to help me watch QT and he did. We were all standing in the bus so he made sure his palms were wrapped around QT’s palms when holding on to the pole. Then he would hold QT’s hand when I told him so. He would help me buckle QT up cos QT asked ‘kor kor, help!’

a mother & son moment

a mother & son moment

QT fell asleep on the way, whilst we were talking to the train station staff cos Ollie had a burning qns. He wanted to know why the roof of Eunos MRT station was pointy. Hahaha.I sorta guessed the answer but I figured it would be an experience for him to hear it from the train station manager. Then we had a chat whilst QT slept along the way. We talked about train stations, then he talked about how he didn’t want to grow a long beard cos we saw some caucasians with beards. He mentioned how hungry he was and what he was planning to eat. I explained how he had to watch QT whilst I would go get his food. We took some silly photos together whilst he was on my lap.

Then he ‘helped’ me hold the stroller down the stairs outside Promenade MRT (fml no lift but heng only 3 steps). ‘Mummy, I help you hold so not so heavy for you!’ ??

Oh yar, backtrack abit. Was taking the lift from the bus interchange to the basement to get to the MRT. There are 4 floors, lvl 2, 1, B1 & B2. Taking the lift with us was a couple and a guy. Ollie was holding the door in the lift. When i turned to look, to my horror, level 1, B1 & B2 were pressed! ???

‘hoi! Why you go and press all!!??’

The couple quickly said, nono he didn’t. Then couple got out at level 1, guy got out at B1…we got out at B2. ?

‘Mummy, I didn’t press all’ he said, eyes wide open after the couple defended him. I apologised to him in front of everyone.

‘I’m sorry, Ollie. Mummy thought you pressed all the buttons. Sorry ok?’

What was I thinking man…he has NEVER anyhow pressed lift buttons lor. How could I have simply assumed!! ?Felt so bad. Hais.

Okay, back to lunch haha. Our table wasn’t ready when we got there. Zzz. They said got sudden huge group so will need 20 mins to get our table ready. Waah i know i am 10 mins late..but another 20mins?? The server was super nice though. I told her the kids were hungry. So she sat us at Chihuly Lounge and went to get food for us. Juices for the boys and dim sum. She said…she would offer me complimentary cocktail or wine..except I am pregnant. So she offered me mocktail

Told hubby after we got hm. Wah piangs..wasted! Else make him drink all the alco hahahaha #sibehauntie

But of cos decline lar. Main concern was to get the table n feed the kids! The boys were happy with liu sha bao, Ollie doing colouring and QT reading the book I brought, sipping juices. Got our table within 10 mins. So not too bad lar. Heng they were starving too!

Told Ollie again he has to watch QT whilst I quickly went to get them food. And he did. We got a booth and he sat near to QT. Could see them play fight with the ridiculously long breadstick hahah. And then peacefully digging into their food. Went back and grab more food so no need to keep taking. Just pile table first. Server also gave them kids’ pack so QT got to sticking and Ollie colouring.


Then during iPad time..(towards end of our meal) QT was being bratty and not wanting to share. And..what Ollie said next totally blew me away

‘Never mind mummy. Let didi watch iPad. I don’t need’

You don’t need???? What is you don’t need?? Where has my 4yo gone??

He just went back to diligently colouring. ??

Okay. Offered him some kueh and he said let me think about it hahaha. Then he said no thank you, I don’t want it.


The trip home was great (only not so great is the poop zzz). We got a laugh when Ollie went to poke at a gorilla mascot at City Link and got a fright when it danced (machine mascot). Hahahah damn funny.  We then popped by to see some rabbits & guinea pigs at PLC. We took the narrow escalator up at Raffles City and he told me to stand same step as him so that I can hold him n got more space.

We boarded the train, and he got on an empty seat. I was tired and told him to get off but told him he can sit on my lap again. And he was like, it’s okay, I will stand next to didi.

Really. This kid…amazed me. I told Donald..if he keeps up this behaviour, everyday I also blanjah (treat) him to Colony lah. Would have asked him if he want to have dinner there too! Hahahah

I really need this as a reminder. I was telling hubby, Ollie is really a great kid. We rarely have tantrums. And I think we have it the extent we forget he is a 4yo when he has a tantrum.

We are sorta spoilt by him cos he understands reasoning really well. His logic and comprehension is fantastic. But empathy of cos is a different story. That we are working on it slowly. But it is so easy to reason with him during his meltdowns. It just needs a lot of time. And that we remain calm

He tells hubby stuff like ‘be careful when you go to work!’ at the door.

He tells me ‘oh be careful mummy, there is a step’

He tells Quentin ‘didi, stop!! Later fall down and you cry how?’ Or ‘where painful? Let me see!’

When asked if he will help to take care of Sarah, ‘yes! I will pat her and change her diaper. But only wee wee diaper ok? I don’t want to change pang sai diaper ‘ hahahah

I wing it a lot as a mom. What I can prepare in diaper bag to cope, I will. Everything else is up in the air. I try not to think that meltdowns will happen. So far we’re good. Our outings are really good. I set the expectations when we go out so Ollie knows what is going to happen. That helps him anticipate. Anything else is usually a bonus.

But so so proud of the kid. I do worry I am pushing him too far as an elder brother but he is stepping up himself. Holding QT’s hands, hugging & kissing him willingly. Wanting to wash his cup & bowl.

He wakes up, sets the table for QT & himself and then makes himself breakfast (pouring cereal into his bowl and eating it). He now makes his bed, diligently put his laundry in the basket, getting into the habit of putting things away. Occasionally offers to swiff & mop the floor. Pours water into cups for both QT n himself before asking QT to come drink. Helps to buckle QT into the stroller. Do crazy shit like clean windows hahahah

I think I have it really good liao.

No need to worry about him academically. He is self-driven and has a thirst for knowledge. His memory amazes me. Hahah to the extent my mom and I will ask him for some details that we cannot remember. It’s fascinating to see him processing information. Just mom and I couldn’t remember what was under my sis’ desk so we asked him. He stared into space n thought about it before responding ‘no shelf under e-e’s table, just chair only’. Like you know, it’s info he doesn’t need to know

But if someone else need info like this, he has an answer??? Like my aunt’s block number, he knows. We go there every fortnightly and well..he doesn’t need to know the block number but he knows.

We talked about getting lost. He knows the drill about getting separated from us in lift (ie he is in lift but we are outside). Told him what to do for train situations cos we were at train station.

Then he asked me…if take taxi leh? ? i laughed n said ‘no lah..won’t happen‘ but then i thought better tell him what to do anyways! I never thought about it! Then he asked next…then bus leh?? ? Why your thought process so far one huh???

Okay..going on and on about him..has officially made me feel like wah piangs i got it damn good so please dun complain about him ever again! Hahahah yar i will not take things for granted again man.

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the second kid

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lately, I realised that I haven’t been writing much about a particular kid in my life. And why not?

dun look so forlorn!

dun look so forlorn!

I do feel that I would be writing a repeat of what I went through with Oliver. But is it bad to write a repeat? It wasn’t bad, but it was tedious. It didn’t help that Quentin spoke more with his body language than with words. It was harder to describe what he was trying to say. And you know when I said that ‘being second doesn’t mean you get any lesser‘? I was wrong. I tried to make sure he didn’t get any lesser, but he did.

I often told friends that when I compared Quentin with Oliver, Quentin was pretty much a year behind Oliver at the same age. That we babied him and just let Oliver lead him. I didn’t read as much books with him. I didn’t sing as much with him. I didn’t play as much with him. From the point he was born, his time with me was halved. He had to share it with Oliver. It was hard to give him full attention with the other clamouring for the same amount of attention. We have one on one time when Oliver is at school for 3 hours, but about half of that 3 hours is spent for his nap, 30 mins on lunch, 30 mins spent sending and picking Ollie up from school, which means..we get 30 mins of time awake.

Sometimes we get an hour together when I need to run errands. He loves taking the bus and lately we would take a bus to the mall nearby, take a walk maybe to the library or grab a snack together before heading home. It was only lately that I discovered a lot more about this kid.


With the impending arrival of Sarah (in 3 months time!), I decided that we needed to set the boundaries for Quentin, the same boundaries we set for Oliver before Quentin was born. And then I realised my mistake. Quentin had developed into a brat. Well, not an absolute brat. When he was in a good mood, he was the sweetest, cutest 2.5yo in my eyes (mom’s biasness okay) But when he chose to..OMFG (excuse my language), it is a battle of patience.

More often than not, I end up giving him what he wants because it is exhausting to battle with him. And boy, is he persistent. Example, Oliver got to go on a staycation with his grandparents and he didn’t. It was a 20 mins ride home and he whinged alllllll the way home. NON-STOP. It was doing my head in. Argh. Imagine that everyday, each time he didn’t get that way. There were days where I really couldn’t..just couldn’t tolerate it. And I ended up yelling A LOT at him, because it was really harder to get the point across, especially when he couldn’t communicate as well as his brother.

It didn’t help that I couldn’t carry him because I was pregnant. It would send him further down the trail of that tantrum. It was harder to soothe him. But there are days where he was okay to sit on the sofa and be held by me. Phew.


There are daily moments of him not accepting ‘no’ for an answer. He would ‘challenge’ you by saying ‘no’ to what you request of him to do. He would randomly hit his brother. Whilst I could threaten Oliver with the confiscation of his toys, I could only threaten Quentin by….withholding food WTH. You ever hear parents threaten this way anot??

if you don’t pick up the puzzles, no food for you!’ hahahahhaa. Okay, is like damn sad lar. How to starve a kid right.

But I had to try because I had a time limit (not the starving, that never happened okay!). And I knew that if we didn’t do something now, I was going to pay for it later when Sarah comes along. I started reasoning with him instead of yelling. We had a little bit more of a routine. I would accede to simple requests and be firm in saying ‘No’ to him. It really brings back the days where we started saying ‘No’ to Oliver before he turned 2. A lot of tears and frustrations involved. Fortunately, Quentin is going through a language explosion and can speak in short sentences now.

Gonna make this post a reminder to myself to make sure that Quentin really doesn’t get any less as a second kid, and as a middle kid.

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[SC July’16] Millenial Parenting

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are you a millennial parent?

are you a millennial parent?

This article in July’s issue of Singapore’s Child about millennial parenting has struck a chord with me. To be honest, I never considered myself to be a millennial. Then again, I am someone who hasn’t quite figured out the Gen Y, Gen X and then millennial terms. Let’s just put me in the ‘confused’ category hahaha.

So who are the millennials?

This group of people largely constitutes of anyone from 16 to 36 years of age, and is a group with seemingly very distinct personalities, lifestyle choices and life philosophies…..A 2014 report found that five in 10 Singaporean millennial parents say they’re intentionally raising their children differently from how they were raised.’

*raises hand* Yup. That’s me alright.

Signs You Are A Millennial Parent:

  1. You are open to challenging traditional parenting norms.
  2. You believe in coming up with your own style
  3. You subscribe to a cause

I can relate to basically all of the above!

Norms? Being a norm in the non-norm. 

Okay, the article did mention that we were probably taking mental notes as a kid as to what I was definitely not going to do to my own kids (namely the caning and punishments). But how far away was I from doing it? Well, let’s just say I’ve kept to 75% of my word, with the other 25% due to frustration when I just snap. If you read my blog long enough, you would know we go by the gentle parenting approach. It doesn’t mean that I remain nice all the time and kiddo doesn’t get to cry, but some days I do know that I have to set the boundaries and if it means tears, there will be tears.

I am also fortunate to have that opportunity to live overseas and babysit some kids, see how friends raise theirs, and discover the various parenting methods that I felt comfortable with. Being internet savvy also meant that we could just simply ‘Google’ up information to affirm what we want to believe or..well, it could lead you the other way and ‘diagnose’ your child with ADHD based on what you were searching for!

We attend pre-natal classes and with it being scientifically backed, of course we become the gurus and go all ‘nononono, the instructor said no water if fully breastfed!‘ to the ‘just a sip to rinse their mouths!’

Confinement? What confinement? I am craving for an ice cream sundae and THOU SHALT GET ME ONE 2 HOURS POST DELIVERY. I believed in a stress-free post delivery recovery period. Being a control freak, I absolutely cannot allow a stranger to tell me what I can and cannot do. Cold water, showers, eating anything and everything I wanted, thankewberrymuch.

The Tings’ Style

I think the best compliment anyone has paid me is telling me that she loves the way I mother my kids and that my kids are blessed.

Wah. That was a MAJOR ego boost. It felt like I was doing something right, amidst some naysaying. Parents are judgemental. I admit that. We go out and we see something happening to a kid (tantrum throwing etc) and we think ‘I’m glad that’s not my kid’ or ‘omg, why is the parent not doing anything?’ So so easy to pass judgements.

Our style is obviously not all new agey. It is pretty much but with a pinch of salt. We’re a mix of the new and old. Certain traditional still works better for us cos of the convenience (eg. feeding vs baby led weaning). At the end of the day, it really boils down to what retains your sanity. There is no one right method. My kid may not adapt to what I want to do anyways. If there’s baby led weaning, how about baby led growing? Let them choose! Nah, new style. The ‘confused’ style.


Yes. There are a few causes I subscribe to. Being environmentally conscious in our household (err..most of the time hor. Heatwave, pregnant momma needs aircon so please don’t crucify me), lots of freedom to love and to love generously

We have a little recycling box and Ollie knows what goes in there. He knows that sometimes I will take some containers from home to go to the market to take away some food. He knows that we should not use the air conditioning unnecessarily until mommy is melting hahah (just kidding).

The freedom to love. I wish it was this simple but until there is more tolerance, I can see that it will be complicated. Some of the closest friends to us are in a same-sex relationship, and they will be the people who will be there for my kids. For now, my kids look beyond that but one day, they will ask and I will be honest with them. That it is not wrong to love freely.

To love generously. To treat everyone with respect. The kids know their neighbours, they know the wet market vendors and they greet the grandfatherly Muslim cleaner for our block on the way to school with a resounding ‘Ah Tuk!!’ who acknowledges the call with an ‘AYE!’ and a wave. To honestly explain why some people behave the way they do and let them make the judgement call themselves.

So are you a millennial parent? What are your parenting styles? I would definitely love to hear all about it!

Also in this month’s issue: exciting giveaways for the whole family, from Singapore Repertory Theatre’s The Three Little Pigs musical tickets to The Magic Spicebox cookbook, sure to leave your family entertained and their palates satisfied. This is definitely an issue brimming with goodness!

Disclaimer: is the Digital Partner for Singapore’s Child and I received a complimentary issue of the magazine for review purposes. All opinions are solely mine and are written as objectively as possible. 

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