Category Archives: Special

14 Valentine’s later

14 Valentine’s

Dear you,

you would wonder what the fuss about this watch is. But bebe, this is now more than a watch. This is you telling me that I matter.

Of course you matter to me! How can you say that you don’t matter to me?’ I could almost hear that indignant exclamation.

When you asked me the all important question of whether I liked you that fateful 17th April, I was secretly grinning whilst chastising you to ask me again when you were not drunk. I was at the point where I felt I was mature enough to handle a decent relationship after a slew of disastrous ones before.

You meant a lot to me.

There was the romancing, surprises and then a lot of practicality and logic came in as we continued our relationship for the next 4 years, then 10 and then now 14 years, with 4 fabulous kids. We have an awesome relationship, we do. And I am thankful for that. You have supported me and taken care of me in many ways.

Well, except the secret girly part of me.

Amidst the practicality, there was the girl in me who yearned for flowers, surprises and little notes. But I struggled with the practicality aspect cos flowers don’t last and they are a waste of money; surprises are hard to come up with and we are mostly tired; and you just don’t do notes. Most times, I’d give myself a mental slap and say..come on, you don’t need this lor. But I secretly wanted to feel special, like more than normal days, can? Like someone was doing something special for me. Especially on 14th Feb, no matter how commercialised it is hahah. Like surprise me dammit!

But practical lor. Cos priorities hor? Laundry has got top priority in my life okay. No food never mind cos can tabao. BUT THE KIDS CANNOT BE WITHOUT UNIFORM. WTH.

Moments like you telling me to sleep my pregnancy cravings off (‘just sleep, it’ll be morning soon and you’ll forget about it’). WHO SAID BEING PREGNANT IS QUEEN HAR?? hahaha. But okay la, you made up for that this latest pregnancy by going out to buy me hokkien me at 10.30pm.

Or I see something that I thought I might want to get, but I’d get less than positive comments about it and it would totally kill my mood. Not you buy for me summore, is ownself want to buy for ownself (albeit using ah lau’s salary). End up being killjoy.

Cos practical lor. It is not life and death. Adulting SUCKS. hahaha. Didn’t help that these days I felt more like a mom than ever. My life revolves around laundry, meals, household chores, keeping the kids alive and getting them into bed on time so I don’t have to deal with cranky kids. Family time is around 1 hour before you put the kids to bed and when they are asleep, it is mostly work time.

But the ones that made its way to my heart, the most precious and memorable surprises that get me grinning each time I think of it:

the first birthday gift, you recording yourself singing happy birthday at places we hang out at in Tasmania (circa 2005)

…you secretly buying the engagement ring that I wanted on the pretext of heading to the toilet (circa 2009)

…how you had planned to propose with said ring (circa 2009)

….a replica of our wedding bouquet in Perth for our 10th year paktor anniversary (actually not supposed to count cos is planned one!)

to 2019, with this watch. I had showed you what I wanted with a screenshot at 9.49am on 13th Feb, and you managed to get it before it sold out. And probably cos I was grumbling in front of the kids about how I never got what I wanted when my husband bought me gifts. #truestory I wait for 10 years leh!

I loved hearing how you went and got it, and how you had to tell R not to get the watch cos I asked her to get the black one for me from Japan. Cos you said sold out and I went and checked the story on G-shock FB page.

I wanted to beam when you handed me the box but I didn’t want to let you off easy yet. Heng I didn’t cos YOU SAID IT WAS MEIJI MELTY KISS (WTF, box similar size summore.) Then you saw me beaming, once I opened the box right. haha. It’s not just about the watch, it is about you heading out to go get it okay! It’s not the first choice but it is WAY better than first choice, cos MY AH LAU BUY ONE! kekekeke. Not ownself buy. =P

Thanks for satisfying and making this secret girly girl super happy. <3

Category: Special

how do you (I) do it? – two years later

I vaguely remembered writing a post on this. And I Googled myself. hahah. Eh, that is the fastest way to find a post okay.

And so I did. I wrote a similar post 2 years ago. Has anything changed since then? Well…we added a new member to the family and boy, are things even more hectic. I was ‘inspired’ to write this post because in a span of a couple of weeks, I had this question posed to me: how do I do it, with 4 kids? 

I don’t. Let me tell you as it is now: I’m seriously sleep deprived, clocking 5-6 hours each night. I have been shoving the kids to their father because I cannot deal carrying a newborn and 3 kids having a shouting match. The last 3 weeks was probably a vacation for me cos at least I have the option to simply tell my husband that I was going to take a nap and just waltz off and do it.

Except I got a shit brain who makes me a light sleeper and it takes me forever to settle and by the time I actually wind down enough to sleep, the baby wails for a feed and I gotta restart all over again. BOO.

The same shit brain also makes me feel inadequate, makes me feel that I am not doing enough despite knowing that I have clocked a lot of stuff in an hour, just cause there are still veggie peels in the sink, breakfast dishes not washed, I am stuck on a chair nursing the baby with my now lukewarm yoghurt sitting in front of me, and a toddler sitting outside playing by herself. START PACKING FOR YOUR GUILT TRIP  says the brain.

And I do just that. Why are there stuff still not done? And oh, your shit eyes also decide to spy a dried patch of god-knows-what on the floor and you add mopping the dining room to your never-ending list of stuff to do. But you know what? The smart thing to do would be to practise self-care. To say it is okay to leave some of the stuff to be cleared after you are home from running errands outside.

That you have done just enough, and it is okay. That it is time to head out with your kids and spend some time with them, away from the chores. Those chores CAN wait, well, except if everyone is running out of undies, then sorry that cannot wait. Hahahaha.

But how do I do it some days? I do it because of this man who makes me feel I can do it.

Daddy Ting and his minions

I laugh to myself recounting the messages between him and me whilst I gave birth to Alex, and him missing out on the birth. All because we thought the labour would take a while, and he could go home, check on the kids a little and come back to the hospital again. Oh what a story to tell Alex when she grows up.

This man handled 3 sick kids and looked after me after we got discharged from the hospital. He tried cooking my meals for me, but I kicked him out of the kitchen on day 5PP. Hmph. I want the food I want to eat! Then he had to handle the 3 sick kids AND keep them away from the newborn. That was week #1

sick kids means mask on all the time!

Week #2, he fell sick but still looked after the recovering kids sans Sarah who stayed over at my parents’ place so he could rest more. Then things got better, we still stayed home a lot. Sorta, this momma went out a bit cos I was getting cabin fever. I got to meet some friends! Oh happiness. Trips to the polyclinics for jaundice checks were the highlights of my week!

Week #3, Ollie broke his toe. Sigh. So dunno who kena confinement siah. Daddy Ting really got his work cut out for him lifting his 20kg son around cos we were trying to keep the cast clean (else how to sleep in bed?? Yucks). On the other hand…Quentin had a lot more opportunity to be out of his brother’s shadows cos Oliver is out of action. That would be another post in itself.

bai-kah-chu

We are into week #4 and we are catching up on errands. A LOT of errands plus sending Quentin to his day camp. This is a trial run of how it would be like when the kids go back to school next year, esp when Oliver commences primary school. I told Daddy Ting that we cannot do enrichment classes for the kids, cos it is just not our style. We are way to chill to do the mad rush on weekends. Even swimming classes was pushing it a little (5-6pm, and then the rush back to have dinner wth).

But this man, my husband, takes all these in stride, and still takes time to make sure that my mental well being is taken care of. Once that is taken care of, everything else goes. He was there when I needed him (well, except when he missed out on Alex’s birth hahahahahah.) He is almost at my beck and call, at this time, if the kids are not all piled on him, hounding him to play Uno with them.

mummy not free, nehmind, teh-bao daddy!

we played copious amounts of Uno.

Etched in my memory forever:

1) Watching him put Sarah on the toilet and him squatting next to her waiting for her to be done, and then cleaning her up. I laughed, and he chuckled as well, shaking his head. There was just something about that scene that made it endearing and funny.

2) We have a recycling box at home, and he spied some ziplock bags in the box earlier today.

Him: are those ziplock bags in the box??
Me: oh yeah, they are the ones that the clothes came in. I didn’t know what to do with them, but they are in pretty good condition eh?
Him: yeah, I was surprised to see them there. I thought you would use them to store something.
Me: waaah, not bad hor. You noticed!
Him: Of course, I was thinking how can it be that you would put those bags into the box?? Where’s my wife and what have you done with her??
Me: Bwhahahahaha. You’re an idiot.

The little actions he does to support the things that I do or want to do. They remind me that we have a thing going on always.

So how do I do it with 4 kids? I will run solo with them when Daddy Ting goes back to work, but I do it with some help from the village I have behind my back. It pays to have a big family and have the kids close to them.

It pays to have married my soul mate and knowing he has my back. 😘

 

Category: Special

This June

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The last week of school is usually a little more hectic. There are some school holidays because of the preparation for parent-teacher meetings, and then for the parent-teacher meeting it self. Everyone is kinda on a holiday mood, but this year I had no direction absolutely. No idea where I was going to be taking the kids to, nor what I was going to do with them.

I was dreading the school hols. I was still in a funk, and given certain circumstances, I was exhausted. Torn between wanting to cater for the knowledge thirsty Oliver, to a chillax Quentin, to a little shadow/tag-a-long Sarah who just has to sit in the stroller wherever we went. I was absolutely dreading it. But winging it was probably the best thing we did ever.

We had some play dates, we went for outings at Gardens By the Bay, for media events, for a Biodiversity exhibition, a Singapore Police Heritage Centre tour. We took our time, and sweltered in the heat. Some times, Daddy Ting took days off and we went to Pulau Ubin, Singapore Zoological Gardens and he took them to a playground at Sembawang Park whilst I was at a meeting. Some days the grandparents took them out, for a play, for a cycle in the park, for meals. Last week, a cousin took the boys out to Sentosa and a swim.

It ended up being a super packed June holidays and time couldn’t have flown any faster. And it ended up being one of the best June holidays I have had with the kids. There were many firsts for all of us and I am so so glad we did all of it together.

It was heartwarming to watch the two boys entertain themselves on the long train rides. Sometimes Quentin would pack an activity book along and do it on the ride, Oliver would bring a book along. Sarah would be happy snacking, or if she got bored, the boys would take turns to entertain her in their nonsensical way.

The three would gamely pose for photos, and if I needed help, the boys would be ready to give me a hand. It was awesome to see them enjoying themselves and just fooling around outdoors.

The time spent with them made me appreciate them a lot more for each of their idiosyncrasies. It made me appreciate the time the boys were ready to help when I needed it. It made me appreciate that time spent with each of them is precious and that they will remember it. It reminded me that each of them are different and I need to spend some one on one time with them whenever possible.

It reminded me that they will grow up quickly. I can only hope that we are still as close as we are now when they grow up.

Category: Kids, Outdoor, Special