感触

this post has been forming, lingering in my mind for the past week or so. The moment just didn’t seem right to write about it, despite having the time to write. That free time went to work, and the list of stuff to do.

but hey, no time like now eh? Now, when the #foreverbaby is sleeping in Ward 85 at Chateau de KKH.

I’ve been to KKH so many times since I was expecting Ollie. Gynae visits, to Ollie’s birth, to UTI, to hernia, to gynae visits for QT, to Special Care Nursery, to UTI, to Ollie’s fracture, to QT’s ultrasound..etc. To today. So much so..I’m sorta immune to a hospital visit. Haha. Got loyalty rewards points or not huh?

感触 because somewhere last week, I felt the bond between Ollie and I go one notch stronger. I watched my first little boy grow up right before my very eyes. I saw a little man. The little man who unknowingly imitates the way we speak to him. The little man who is able to draw connections between one point to another. The little man who takes  book and comes up to me saying “mummy, can you teach me this?” when what he really wants is for me to read to him. The little man who looked at me earnestly as I listed my expectations before we went out for our very first movie together.

What an adventure it was for us. What a moment for me. I watched him sit on the booster seat, digging into the popcorn, asking why certain things was happening in the movie. I got emotional. One of the many firsts, but still a first. We walked out 30 mins into the movie cos he got frightened. A waste of $24? Not really. It was an experience. One I would treasure in years to come.

my darling. I hope you know how proud I am of you. I am sorry I can’t be there with you to enjoy the school holidays. I had grand plans for us. I wanted us to do what you wanted to do. You wanted to go to Sentosa. Sentosa it is. I promised you I would take you tomorrow. But here I am staying over in the hospital with your didi. I saw what an awesome time you had on Sunday, when we went to the beach and had a picnic. Nothing fancy, just some crackers we shared together. You savoured every moment of it. It was all on your face. Cos all you wanted was a picnic. That simple. 

And then on the other hand, I look at the one lying in the cot. It has been an eventful ride since his birth. Born at 34 weeks, then hit by a bout of UTI at 38 days. Then he caught his brother’s cough and cold, and developed bronchitis, twice. Then we discovered his urinary tract is somewhat wonky. And then this bout of gastro.

Best thing? Haha, he is uninsured cos no one wants to insure him. But hey, thank goodness for Medisave eh?

Day 1 of gastro

Day 1 of gastro

But being the 2nd child..he makes his presence known. He is fierce and in your face. He is competitive (especially when it comes to food). He is independent, way ahead of Ollie at this age. Where he lacks in speech, he makes up for it with actions. He will tug at my hand to make me follow him to get what he wants. He will push my face to look at him if I am distracted and he wants my attention. He dictates what food he wants and what he wants next.

He is..a warrior. Somewhat. (maybe I am in denial, he could just be a dictator. haha). In the midst of being tired, having changed over 20 diapers then, he gave me a sleepy thumbs up and grinned. My efforts at signing with him had not gone to waste. And with that I was heartened and assured.

I’d be lying if I wasn’t tired of all these hospital visits. Yet I know there are kids out there worse off and I should be fortunate his isn’t anything major. But it is such a huge drastic difference to Ollie.

Argh..so hard to not compare the two.

And there is the hubby. In times like this, I cannot be more glad that I married this man. He can be a shithead at times but he is there, my pillar of strength. Being away for so many days was tough. We would message each other on WhatsApp, updating each other about the kids, and talk about work. I probably had it easier being in the hospital, cos he had to work from home, on top of looking after Ollie and sorting out his meals (which was chicken rice for a couple of meals!!)

But I am blessed. I truly am. With the husband and kids I have. I cannot ask for more. (Maybe, another kid? =P)

Category: Daily

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