fearless

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fearless

fearless

恒. Part of Ollie’s Chinese name. It means determined.

It could also mean stubborn. Haha.

This little boy has lived up to his name. He is persistent in what he is doing, and never have we told him to give up, but to just try his best. And that if he still can’t do it, both mummy and daddy will be there to give him a hand. He knows that, and we are glad for that.

But no one told me fearless is his ninja name. *roll eyes* I tried it once when he was slightly over a year old. He refused to hold my hand and in typical Asian mother fashion, I told him, fine, go. Mummy’s leaving and you can stay here all by yourself. He took off and never looked back. *groan* Cue mummy leaving the stroller aside and  running after him.

Donald and I have labelled him the “runaway potential kid”. Yep. I foresee many tumulus periods in his teenage years. Just like mine. Hahaha. Ohhh Ollie, you are definitely mummy’s boy. Karma’s back to bite me in the butt.

So same thing happened today. I took Ollie to the playground to let him run around a little. Post playground session on the way home, he was being cheeky (in a negative way), smacked poor QT in the face (again) and refused to walk properly. And I said pretty much the same thing, fine go. If you don’t wanna walk, you can sit here all by yourself. And off he went.

And never looked back. Not once. He ran back to the playground.

I stood from afar and watched him. I recounted what I saw to Donald later that evening. It was as though he was hit with a wave of recklessness. When we first got to the playground, he was cautious about climbing a curved ladder.

cautious Ollie on the curved ladder

cautious Ollie on the curved ladder

“Ollie want to climb ladder. But Ollie cannot climb so high. Wait Ollie fall down.”

Post reproach. He climbed up to a level that he was comfortable with, sat ASTRIDE on one of the railings, before swinging his leg over and sitting on the same bar, holding on with only ONE arm, and then casually sliding himself down.

FML. Where did this streak of daredevilledness come from?? (sigh..probably me. Says the 4yo me who wanted to go on the viking.)

On one hand, when he is in a good mood, he would look out for me and suddenly go “Where’s mummy?”. And then when he is a crappy mood, there’s this recklessness. Right.

worse than watching action-packed movie

worse than watching action-packed movie

As I watched Ollie slowly figure his way up on these steps, I could feel my insides clench up. And it took a while to actually unclench even though after I got home. I figured, this might be the kind of fear mum’s experience as they watch their child do something somewhat dangerous.

Or it could be just my period. damn you, period!! Breastfeeding has faaaailed me *wails*

/end drama

PS. I know I shouldn’t do the whole “I’m-going-to-leave-you-here” thing. When you’re level 9000 Asian, you try to NOT say that. It is ingrained in you. Haha.

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