meltdowns

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just last week, I had a mini meltdown.

Oliver was going through some changes with his sleep patterns, throwing everything out of whack, and was waking up every two hourly to feed. I was exhausted, and was trying to figure out how to set him back on track with his feeding schedule, and what set off the changes.

Teething? Growth spurts (damn spurts!!)? Too much sleep in the day? Too much stimulation before sleep?  The list sorta goes on.

I would nap with him in the arvo, and they would be 1-2 hours long, compared to his usual 30-45 mins ones. I would worry if it was because he had too much sleep in the day. Cue shorter naps the following day, which would result in me being veeeerrry sleepy & tired.

I got somewhat burnt out. I did not blame Oliver cos..well that is what babies do, don’t they? Give you the impression that things were on the right track, and then wham..! Yikes. But I was being snappy and snipey with poor Donald who got the brunt of it. He is very hands on with Oliver, but just not very in tuned with Oliver’s habits. *groan* Think Daddy who can’t soothe Ollie and decides to play peek-a-boo in the midst of a late night fuss.

Hellooooo stimulated baby. *wry sigh* Thankfully, I’ve got my cheat sheet to putting Oliver back to sleep easily (boobieees!), although this took a little longer than usual.

But yes, Donald copped the brunt of it with me going on about how he should be more supportive in his role as a dad and a husband. I was tired, I wanted a break without Oliver attached to me for a couple of hours, I wanted to be able to do things without being interrupted, I wanted to be able to sleep in without a baby sleeping next to me/sleeping on me/fussing aloud in the house.

Amidst I was also torn between thinking that I am a SAHM and therefore need to suck it up and deal with it, cos the husband is the breadwinner vs the father of my child needs to play a more active role and give me a break when he can. Aiiii.

Met up with a fellow mother during the week and I was telling her about the meltdown. She could empathise with me cos she had been there. I was reminded that I am a parent now, a mother to a 5-month old and things are just never going to be the same again. Not in a negative way, but in a more positive light. She tells herself that the tough part is only the first two years.

Lucky her. It’s going to be the next 8 years for me if Donald and I are really going to be having 4 kids. hahaha.

Just as I got over that, Oliver’s sleeping patterns switched between being out of whacked (waking 2 hourly) and being kind to me (4 hourly feeds). Then I got bogged with the issue of sleep training vs going with the flow. A discussion with Donald fixed that. We decided that we will wait till Oliver’s a little older to wean him off nursing to sleep and start with sleep training.

But it felt nice. It really felt nice to feel that this whole parenting was a journey for the both us, and I wasn’t walking it alone just because I was the main caregiver.

And I slept better last night too. And the skies are all clear again. haha.

Now off to get Ollie dressed up for a wedding later!

Category: Daily

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