raising Sarah

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Where did the week go?? Honestly, I cannot believe that it is already Thursday. Last week, I would have probably just said, ‘what?? Thursday only??’ Haha..time flies when you are swamped with work.

I’ve been busy with post-event paperwork and orders. We participated in an event on Sunday, the SuperMom Jubilee Baby Bash, where we had a booth to promote some of our products. I am really thankful for the opportunity to speak with parents, to learn more about their needs, and extremely thankful for their patience to participate in our booth activity, considering strollers weren’t allowed and it was mad crowded.

If you had been at the Big Little Me booth, I thank you for stopping by, whether for that stamp or not. =)

Now back to regular programming!

We are at week 18 of being pregnant with Sarah. Now, THIS is the point where I go, ‘WEEK 18 only??’ Starting to feel the aches and being klutzy to a certain extent. Still have to be nimble enough to chase after QT even though most of the times, the role has been delegated to Ollie (if he chooses to cooperate!)

So..the other day, hubby and I had a conversation about raising Sarah. After raising two boys, we are back at square one with a girl. Gender differences, both emotionally and physically. I am glad that both Donald and I are able to come to a compromise on how we want to go about raising the boys. Most of the time, I do some reading and then we would talk if I felt strongly about how Donald was dealing with the boys.

Both Donald and I grew up in the typical Chinese household, where the cane is freely used, ‘because I say so’ was spoken freely and kids were mostly seen and not heard. I’m not saying that the method then was wrong. It just worked for our parents then. But I definitely wanted to do things differently with my kids. Yup I am your classic case of ‘not going to do what my parents did’. So hello attachment parenting, hello gentle parenting. As a SAHM, I have more time to look into it and implement it. Donald does see the results and agree that it is a better approach, although it takes up a lot of time.

It wasn’t going to be any different for Sarah, except on certain issues. jeng jeng…that’s where Donald and I differed big time.

I was determined to nurture her to be a confident young lady. One that knows how to love herself, and not have body image issues; one that knows how to use both her intellect and her heart to make decisions; one that knows how to take that leap of faith.

Basically, all that I wasn’t when I was a teenager and only slowly began to learn how to do so because of my kids and husband. You’d be amaze what love AND support can do to a person, and I hope she finds someone who can love and support her the way Donald does for me.

So the conversation came about when I asked if Donald would allow Sarah to go out in a bare-back halter with hot pants.

‘Well, if she is 2 years old, sure!’

‘What if she is 14?’

‘She’s not going out!’

At that point of time, I laughed it off, and the first thing that came to mind was ,’of course not. She will lose out more.’ It was the same thing that Donald did say as well. It took me a day to mull over it before I thought differently.

Why was it that a girl would lose out more? How could I have thought that I would want to protect my girl more than my boys? Did it mean that it was okay for the boys to lose out too? I need to protect them both equally! Both the boys AND Sarah will have just as much to lose out!

That started me getting on the defensive and offensive on the differential treatment between boys and girls. Attire. Attracting the wrong attention. Conservative. Okay, this momma here is a liberal. Very 开通 you know. But I draw the line at no self-worth. 自甘堕落 is NOT okay. And this applies to both boys and girls in my household. And I expect my boys to treat females the way they should. The gentlemanly way and with respect. Same with Sarah; to treat guys as an equal and with respect.

I got on the offensive on a few things, which I won’t list here cos it might open another can of worms haha. But let’s just say it bordered along the line of gender equality, societal norms (which I totally detest cos I think saying it’s a norm is a total cop out and bullshit excuse IMHO) and being psuedo-feministic. Not that it’s a bad thing, but to me, they were areas worth discussing between Donald and I, but society may not be ready for it. Educating society will take a long time. It digressed ALOT but it was interesting to see what my husband felt and thought about it.

Else I will whup their asses, regardless of if they are 12 or 21. Hormones raging or not. Dammit.

Hais. No wonder Donald says raising girls gonna be headache. Hahaha cos wife also female, and she is liberal! It will really be interesting to see how Sarah will turn out!

Category: Daily, Kids, Parenting

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