fighting

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dear Quentin,

oh honey, what are you fighting against?

Mummy’s sitting here in the dim light in the hospital, watching you sleep and typing this entry. I am reminded of the time your korkor was warded in the same hospital, albeit a private ward, compared to this 6-bedded ward that you are in, for the same thing that got you here in the first place.

UTI. Gah..the bane of my existence, and probably your korkor and yours.

This 43 days of your existence has been a bumpy one. The first 9 days were rough, with your spat of low oxygen level, and jaundice. When you were discharged, I was estatic. I could finally hold you in my arms as and when I wanted to. The next couple of weeks, we spent visits to the polyclinic to check out your jaundice levels, which were yo-yoing a fair bit. The last one landed you in the hospital for a visit at one of the clinics cos it was considered high for too long.

Funnily, it was the urine test that got you here, warded in the hospital. *sigh* And then the farking blood test that they just did is probably whats gonna keep you in longer. I asked your daddy to tell me that it was all going to be okay, and he said it was. I then asked your daddy to tell me that you will be coming home with me on Saturday, and he said he couldn’t promise me that.

I know. I was just trying my luck and asking for the moon.

But come on..I only went home for a shower and to pack some stuff and I got more bad news? QT, cut mummy some slack eh? =P So honey, just what is it are you fighting? Why is your blood platelet count so high? What is this mysterious bug that you are possibly fighting?

It is scary to me now. Just as it was when your korkor was sick too. I told your daddy I possibly don’t want to have any more kids if I have to deal with such drama at the early stages of your lives. You two are shortening my life already without even opening your mouths (although korkor is already slowly shortening mine with his antics..aargh).

All part and parcel of motherhood eh, this heartache.

So come on, QT, tell mummy what it is you’re fighting and I’ll fight together with you. We’ll beat the worst of it all.

I love you.

xoxo
mummy

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