stepping up

a couple of days ago, I wrote down in my little book of dates, the day I mark down as Ollie officially walking.

earlier that day, I had sat down with him in the play yard and he was leaning against the walls of it, and looking at me coyly, before walking over to me slowly. Slowly but surely. He snuggled up to me for a little before walking off again.

I just sorta stared at the back of him whilst he wobbled away. How fast almost 10 months have passed. I’ve got a couple of friends who are due soon, a friend who just had a baby this morning, a friend who’s baby is turning 1 next week, and toddler E (mind you, it was allll baby E a couple of months ago hahaha) is turning 2 later this week too!

And Ollie turning 1 in about 2 months time. (yes yes I know I’m jumping the gun here).

Motherhood sure has some trying moments. Most of the time I have to remind myself that everything is so new for Ollie, and that I have to be patient with him. I have to guide him and tell him about his boundaries, tell him when it is okay, and tell him when it is not okay. So hard when he gives me the quizzical look and goes “eh??” when I tell him “Oliver, no, the water is very hot. Hot. You will hurt yourself”. And then he goes “eh??” again. Hahaha he is so funny that way. He is so active and so curious about everything. I don’t think the word “fear” is in his lexicon yet. Let him out of the play yard, holding his hand and he is almost running (stumbling) to start grabbing things off the couch. But thank god even a small thing like an avocado can keep him occupied for 30 mins whilst I sort out his lunch, do the laundry, and eat my breakfast.

I am thankful that most of the times when my patience is being tested, Donald is there to help out with Oliver. That I can walk away for a bit, calm myself down, feel guilty on somewhat taking it out on Ollie and then go back and give Ollie a cuddle. And Donald is happy cos phew there’s nothing he can do for the moment if all Ollie wants is mama and mama’s needs a breather. haha

And Oliver is forgiving. Because mama is always there to comfort when he is in tears, he forgets that mama walked away for awhile just now. Because he knows that he can literally leap into mama’s arms when he is walking because mama will catch him and laugh with him. He grabs hold of mama’s tshirt tighter. Just in case.

Sometimes that dependency wears me out, sometimes I am glad that he can depend on me. Just a matter of finding the right balance. Come on Ollie, let’s go find that right balance together!

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