Japan, 2007, winter
It was just one of those nights where I was in the mood and was feeling a little nostalgic. I read an old blog of mine. One I hadn’t updated in a few years. Oh the memories. Hahah. It was funny on hindsight. But best of all, it reminded me of everything that was both Donald and I, and where it has brought us.
These days, with Ollie and being pregnant, it is a little hard to remember how things were like when it was only the both of us in Tasmania, then to Perth, and then moving back to Singapore permanently. I told Donald how I had forgotten that I used to get little mini panic attacks and get scared, and would ask him to just hold me and tell me that everything’s going to be alright.
He then asked if I still felt scared or if I was feeling scared at the moment. I thought quickly about it and said, “nah. I haven’t had that feeling for ages. “ which was a good thing. It just means that I feel secure with him and I am happy with where we are at, married, with a toddler and another on the way.
I asked him if he ever thought he would be in this current situation, being a father of two kids. Even I, sometimes, think about it in amazement that I have a toddler who is constantly yelling “mummy mummy mummy” and I am pregnant with #2, and I want to have four kids. Haha. What am I getting myself into? 10 years ago, I would sorta cringe at the idea of someone calling me “mummy”. Today, this little monster has a tendency to rest his face on my lap, look at me with his adoring eyes and go “mummy”. And I melt. WTH. But I think Donald is in bigger trouble. He absolutely adores Ollie. I think going by how active Quentin is in my womb, I reckon Quentin is going to be a copy of his older brother, and they are going to ruin Donald’s life. *smirk* Good luck, Daddy Ting.
But it has been a good eight years, the travelling we managed to squeeze in, the moves we made within state, interstate and overseas (I never want to move again for at least the next 20 years), the moments we have, and the life we are living. I foresee it to only get better, aging like wine, with the kids in tow, 2, 3 or 4 of them.
I have been a little bothered for the past couple of..well, weeks somewhat. A lot of things have been passing through my mind and they are so random yet so relevant in my life today, and in the future. Education for the kids, savings, possible travel, expenditure..etc. It’s the kind of list you need to have but can never finish, may be due to timing or lack of resources. It is a little frustrating because I am the kind of person who needs to know results for the future..or near future. Like I need to know that putting this amount in an endowment plan will secure me this amount in 21 years time. Something of that sort. With most of the things..it is hard to “predict”, so I am kinda left in limbo.
Maybe when Quentin is born I will have no time to worry about stuff like that. Haha. Sleep deprivation..hello, you are not missed!
So here’s to another 8 years of the many unknowns and future new memories to be created and laughed over when we are 60.