Oliver: 5 years 8 mths

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Solo parenting tonight. The hubby is out for a course till late. My parents came over for dinner n helped by hanging around till i put Sarah to bed and then left when I put the boys to bed.

Quentin slept very quickly as I pat him to sleep. Oliver is still awake, tossing and turning. He makes a request to sleep in his bed. The three of us were on Quentin’s bed. I acede.

Crazed biker

As he settles himself in his bed, he grabs Elsa, an Elsa-dressed bear that he chose as a gift from his godparents. He hugs it and buries his head into the bear, trying to sleep.

It has been….3.75 years since I last spent any time with them at bedtime. I rarely did. Hubby takes over from shower till bedtime. It was something we worked out gradually, so that I could have some time to myself after the day.

Watching the 5.5yo sleep…makes me 心酸. The request never changes. ‘mommy, can you pat me to sleep?’ he only asks this of me.

What changed is his bed, the things in his bed, how much he has filled the bed.

He has grown a lot taller. Had we converted the cot to a toddler bed, we would have needed a new bed for him now. He is of course no longer a toddler. He is a boy. My boy.

I missed the times he snuggled up to me as we co-slept when he was younger. When Quentin came along and we co-slept for naps, Quentin would sleep in the middle and he would reach over to caress my arm or ear.

He still obliges for hugs and kisses. For now.

I am going be such a wreck when he goes to P1. Aaargh.

Big brother reading to his siblings

The parenting bit gets to me all the time. Sometimes I struggle with him when he does the most annoying shit. When he says the most self-entitled shit. When he behaves like a privileged, self-entitled brat. I definitely do not want to raise my kids this way. But I have probably unintentionally raised him to be so. Where almost everything and anything is available to him without any request. Gonna have to rein him in a bit.

When he is being a bully to his brother. When he lies. OMG. He has started lying. It is not the malicious kind..but more so lie to make an excuse. Like saying he did something when he didn’t despite repeated confirmations. So so trying. And so hard to try and explain why lying is not the way to go.

Entertaining Sarah with Flexils

But sometimes I remind myself that I really do have it good with him. When he spurts out random nice & polite stuff without any prompting. He speaks gently to his siblings and guides them on what they can do and cannot (Sarah just has this look of awe when he does that to her hahaha). He takes Quentin’s hand as they walk together into the assembly hall. He offers to share some of his bread when Quentin is not allowed any.

You know, the stuff that makes your ovaries scream and make you want to have more kids cos of such behaviour? The behaviour that makes your heart melt and tell you that you should reward him with whatever he wants. The behaviour that makes the world right and makes you feel that you did something right in the midst of raising the three monsters.

Yup, that validation that the way I raised my kids is okay. Okay is a good pass. Doesn’t have to be good. Okay is good enough. Hahaha..talk about lowering expectations right? I mean, what expectations siah.

Sigh, gonna be entering another phase of my life soon. Not sure how I am going to deal with it. But we’ll get there.

 

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#itsagirlyting: 11 months

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She turns 11 months tomorrow.

I told Daddy Ting that I am not ready for her to turn 1 year-old yet. I am dreading it. Urgh.

She started walking last Saturday. 4 steps. When she took her first two, I squealed ‘bebe, SHE’S WALKING!’ to Daddy Ting, who was in the study doing some work. She grinned as she took her first two steps, before launching herself into my arms.

She’s not a baby anymore. My heart sank a little.

She has picked up a lot more skills lately, finally signing ‘thank you’ after 5 months of signing omg. She offers flying kisses, pats her brothers, gives slobbery kisses..AND she cries when I say ouch & pretend to cry when someone hurts me, her included! Hahahaha. So damn cute lah. If no crying is involved, she would snuggle up to me and give me slobbery kisses.

Earlier this evening, we had a shower together. She was tired, but she enjoys playing with her bath alphabets, so that keeps her occupied whilst I shower her. Then I picked her up for a rinse off and she rested her head against me, letting the warm water run over her. She sighed and ‘mmmmm’-ed. I ‘mmmm’-ed internally too. One day, she’ll struggle against me and not want to snuggle so. Better enjoy it whilst I can.

It took her awhile to settle down, she rolled around on my bed, then pulled at my hair, pat my face and nibbled on my finger, all the while babbling to herself. She then crawled to my pillow, rested her head on my pillow, and stared at me, continuing her incomprehensible babbling. I leaned over, buried my face into her belly and took a deep breath.

baby smell. the kind that identifies your kid out of the so many other kids. You know how you can identify your child’s cry in the midst of a crowd? You will be able to identify based on smell.

she is the last baby. She will join the ranks of her brothers, and they will wreck even more havoc in our lives. Haha..but my heart cannot be fuller that it is now. Just seeing the three of them together.


We have no big plans for her first birthday. No party. Downsized from the huge party Oliver had for his 1st, to a shared 1st birthday for Quentin (cos their birthdays were only 1 week apart), to no party for Sarah.

No budget. Hahah. I settled for a photoshoot with Grow Old With Me. The boys had their shoots when they turned 1 year old. But this was going to be a special one. Cos it was also for me. A milestone for me, closing of one chapter of my life. It was a shoot where I wanted to doll up. Where I wanted some part of it to be about me. Odd but I thought, hey let me put some effort into this one and feel a little special.

I sent my wedding gown to be altered into a shorter dress for the shoot..cos jeng jeng, her birthday is 5 days before our wedding anniversary. I thought..might as well right! The excess tulle was going to be made into a tulle skirt for Sarah. Omg. I hope it turns out right. So exciting!

But..sigh. let me mourn the growth of my kid for now. Argh..

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missing out

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glam sleeping

last night, Daddy Ting walked into our room and then walked back into the study where we were doing some work.

Do you know that Oliver is sleeping on our bed?’ Huh?

Oliver hasn’t slept in our room for the past 2 years or so. As a first time mom, I was determined to not have any kids in our bed. Obviously it didn’t happen. Hahahaha. You just throw every bit of logic and sense out of the window when all you want is to sleep. We had been co-sleeping with the kids for 3.5 years before I kicked the boys & Daddy Ting out of our room cos I was pregnant with Sarah and 4.5 people on a queen sized bed meant only I wasn’t getting any sleep.

I probably missed them for…2 nights? Hahahaha. But for the first time in a looooong loong time, I slept through the night.

mummy milestone met.

Wah..never looked back since. Okay, granted I enjoyed it for like another half a year before Sarah came along. I’ll take what I can get! And yes, we are co-sleeping again..kua kua. At least from 3am onwards only.

But yes, we were surprised he wandered in on his own, settled himself down at the base of our bed and continued sleeping. I realised that I haven’t watched him sleep or be asleep for the longest time. You know how kids look different when they are asleep? Maybe it’s cause they don’t struggle when you try to get a good look haha.

He looked a little longer, more matured and peaceful. And he definitely looked different.

Was it because I saw him all the time at home that’s why I miss out on the differences? It does feel that way.

He is in K1 now. There has been a bit more homework for him after the June holidays. Simple spelling tests, writing of Chinese characters and Show & Tell. We don’t have a proper area for the kids to ‘study’ per say. Our living room has been taken over by them but the layout is all over the place cos of Sarah’s play yard. They do their writing/homework on the floor, either lying down, or crouched over.

So we did some rearranging this morning. Sarah has been wandering around the house like she owns it, refusing to be confined in the play yard, so I figured it’s time to pack up the playmat and play yard, and open up the living room a lot more for the boys.

On a side note, seriously.

With Oliver, we only packed up the play yard when he was almost 2 years old.
With Quentin, we packed it up when he was 15 mths old.
With Sarah, I just packed it up today, when she is 10 mths old.

But hey, my living room never looked more spacious!! So the shifting began. Lego area in one corner, two red rectangular Mammut tables, bookshelves shifted, so Sarah has access to her board books. Oliver calls it the ‘new place’ now. Quentin loves that he has a space of his own. And Sarah..couldn’t care less about not having a space of her own cos the whole living room is her space and anywhere that her brothers’ are is also her territory.

eskew me!

Case in point.

I’m sorta gradually transitioning myself to get ready for Oliver attending primary school with all the recent primary school registration talk going on my feed. Not fun. So much things about the system that I am annoyed about. Urgh.

Quentin. He wakes up and he comes into my bed for morning cuddles. Something that Oliver did when Quentin was Sarah’s age. First point of connection in the day, and they are happy to lie quietly for a while before deciding that breakfast is the next call of order. I do enjoy it. One day, I told Oliver that I enjoy hugging him, and that I’d better hug him before he doesn’t like to hug me anymore. He gave me the most bewildered look ever, like how can that be even possible?? hahahahaha. Oh boys, one day, you’ll find another to hug.

balance biking

I’m thankful for school. Being at home squashed between two siblings..makes it hard for this one to shine. Being at school means he is on his own, and he has his own voice. And it shows. He didn’t have any issues going to school, cos he is familiar with the environment and the teachers, thanks to picking Oliver up. But it took him about half a year before he stepped out of his shell and became more interactive in class.

The way his eyes lit up when he identifies his friends and they respond back (Oliver sometimes ignores him when he calls out to him). It is so so so cute.

Now we’re at the point of splitting the boys into two sessions. Argh. Headache. On one hand I feel bad for separating the boys cos it would mean they would only see each other after 2pm; on another hand, I think that splitting them now would make it easier for us to transition to the P1 schedule, and will allow Quentin to stay with his new friends for 3 years instead of moving him the year after. So half hearted on either decisions.

Whhhhhy. Oh..and of course there is the consideration if splitting them will officially screw my life up cos there will be no more 3 hour breaks for me, I’d have to cook lunch (oh wait, that is void cos I’d have to cook lunch for Sarah anyways..). Okay, I think I can live without the 3 hour break. *sigh* Must think about kids, must think about kids.

I think hor..parenting decisions are just going get a whole lot harder cos the kids will eventually want to have a say in it. Not looking forwards to tween-agers.