the special #foreverbaby

naptime

naptime

Dear Quentin,

mama (as you so call me) or mah-me (when you want to teh me) had some time to think whilst putting you to bed today. Your kor kor was busy playing outside in the living room, so you had all of mama for a good 20 mins before your kor kor decided to barge in and gatecrash our time together.

You are my special #foreverbaby. Not saying that kor kor isn’t special. Kor kor is special cos he is the first and he was late. -_- Totally not cool. But he wanted all the attention on him and he got it. Just like he is today. Haha.

Now you. You are special cos you came early. Like WAAAY too early but you’re cool. 2.8kg and all. No need for NICU, just Special Care Nursery thankewberrymuch. You probably could have come home earlier, but noooo, you decided you want some attention too. Your oxygen levels dipped one day and you had to extend your stay. Seriously, QT? 

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You’re special cos you are the baby of the family at the moment. Your parents can’t yet decide if we are going to have another kid, so you better enjoy being the baby of the family for all that’s worth. Your daddy (whom you also call mama hahaha) and I have been saying of late, that you are not a baby, but yet so baby. By this age (20 mths), your kor kor was already sleeping on his own in the cot, no co-sleeping is required. But you, I would still co-sleep with you, or if required, I would still cradle the 10.7kg you and pat you to sleep.

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You’re special cos..you’ve got your parents dealing with things that they never thought they would have to. Since you were born, you have put ME through:

– an extension in your hospital stay cos of a dip in your oxygen levels;
– a episode of UTI, discovered because your jaundice levels would not drop;
– an episode of pneumonia which both you and your brother got together;
– an episode of bronchiolitis;
– discovering your ureter is dilated; and then having to go through more tests than your brother did when he had UTI;
– an episode of gastro that led you to be admitted for days;
– you still aren’t talking much which could possibly mean a speech assessment next year..argh.

Best part? No insurance leh. Very chor on my pocket, you this special #foreverbaby.

And then today. You had a big day today. This is the first time you had to undergo GA for an MRI of your ureter. I had to give you a dose of meds that would relax you before they gassed you later for the MRI. The anesthetist explained to us what was going to happen, and how to care for you after you woke up from the anesthesia. All the information was just clinically going through my mind, and my brain just quickly processed it, asking the logical questions.

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The meds sure worked quickly. You looked pretty doped up haha. It was quite funny for your daddy and I. You couldn’t really sit straight, and you kept dropping the phone. Poor you also have been fasting since the night before, and only had two sips of water since 5am this morning. All too quickly, I had to follow you in, hold your hands and then let them gas you.

It was surreal. I couldn’t see your face, and had to hold you in case you struggled against the gas mask. The nurse would tell me what was happening to you. I saw you gasping a little and panicked. The nurse assured that it was a natural reaction as you were falling asleep and you were kinda fighting it.

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It didn’t take you too long to sleep, considering how doped up you were from the dose of sleeping pill like meds earlier. Another nurse lifted you off me ( I thought I would be able to put you on the bed!! But noooo…) and placed you on the bed. You looked so tiny on that bed, with so many people surrounding you. And then the “please get mummy out of the room.” being said so repeatedly as I was lingering around to see what they were doing.

Walked out and promptly burst into tears in front of your daddy. Cos..I couldn’t see what is going on. I don’t know what the results will show. And I sure as hell don’t know what all this is going to mean. Well, at least not until next month when we see the surgery team for the first time. All I could see is you lying there on the bed in that induced sleep. After all that tests and consults that you went through since we agreed to let you undergo in July, it has finally sunk in. Man..if you are gonna have to undergo surgery, I’m gonna be a wreck on the day itself.

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But hey, there is only one of you, and I wouldn’t want any other. You can be my #foreverbaby, even when you are 50. Just don’t expect me to still cradle and pat you hor.

Love you.

goofballs.

goofballs.

Category: Kids, Special | Tags: ,

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