Tag Archives: toddlerhood

raising Ollie

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doing his puzzles reversed.

something seemed to have sparked a change in Ollie recently. especially after our weekend out kite flying.

lesser tantrums/meltdowns.
easier to negotiate with him.
we have been telling him if he wants to play with another toy, he has to keep the others; and he did and does so now without much bargaining.
he eats on his own now (no more feeding!).
he can shower himself, supervised.
he entertains himself a lot more, doesn’t watch much tv (switches it off usually after an hour).
takes instructions more willingly.
starts putting away his craft materials when he is done.

the latest? he went on the toilet on his own, without telling me anything. (i sneakily followed him and then had to put him on the toilet after watching him trying to climb it.)

hello? where is my baby boy and what have you done to him? it is a wonderful thing watching him grow up and mature. there is also always something cute about him picking up his toys and putting them away.

haha okay fine, it just means I have to pick less.

he hasn’t smacked QT for a while now. doesn’t ask for the Wiggles and chuck a fit when I say no. he is more willing to accept “no” as an answer when we explain why.

am I a proud mama? hell yeah. i would like to think that all these time spent with him, insisting on certain practices to be applied by all (including daddy & grandparents) have made an effect on this baby boy of mine. excuse me but I am taking credit for all of these, mental development asides. oh wait, i’ll take 75% credit of that too. thankewberrymuch.

well done Ollie. you are doing fantastic. and this mummy of yours loves you to bits!

nice or naughty hands

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Ollie not needing his highchair anymore.

Another blink and I’ll miss it moment. monster #1 seems to have shot up suddenly. He has recently been able not only unlock and lock the doors, but also remove the keys out of the key holes. Darn. So much for minimising the areas that he can go to. We ended up placing the keys on the space above our light switches. It makes entering the rooms A LOT more inconvenient now.

Thanks a lot, growth spurt. *grumbles*

Today was one of those days where Ollie was in a bit of a mood. He was pretty good most of the day, but when he got bored whilst I was in the midst of doing something, usually cooking, QT would bear the brunt of it. The worst being this evening when I was in the midst of cooking some veggies and QT got smacked on his tummy multiple times in a row. I exclaimed a “hey!” and Ollie looked at me before turning back and smacking QT again.

monster #2 burst into a wail. The kind that said he got a shock and it hurt. And my heart ached.

I have been reading up a fair bit about managing toddlers with a new sibling. The most common theme was that this is a phase and will pass; that we need to acknowledge the toddler’s feelings and involve him as much as possible. Ollie has been a great help when it comes to QT. He will very gladly grab the wipes, diapers, tissue and even a towel if I ask him too. He will throw the diaper away if I hand it to him.

When Ollie wakes up in the morning and sees QT, he goes over to give QT a couple of strokes on his head, smells him and may be give him a kiss. Sometimes when QT is fussing a little, Ollie would imitate me and tell QT, “oh-la oh-la, don’t cry. it’s okay.“. Or if QT is on the play gym, Ollie would lie next to him and swing the toys dangling above them.

Which is why the sudden smacking absolutely baffles me. And I cannot find it in the heart to yell at Ollie despite wanting to right the wrong. On one hand, I don’t want Ollie to feel that I am isolating him by yelling at him because of his brother (which may exacerbate his negative feelings about his brothe, if any). On the other hand, I feel so sorry for QT although I know he probably won’t remember any of this when he grows older. It is just that, at that moment, it pains to see QT getting smacked and in pain.

Recently, I read an article about the use of “nice hands”. Basically I would tell Ollie that he has nice hands and that nice hands do not hit. I struggled to find a word suitable for the opposite of nice hands, and decided on naughty hands. Each time I saw the signs that a smacking was imminent, I would fend of the blow and then asked Ollie if he had nice or naughty hands. He would always reply that he has nice hands, and I would reiterate that nice hands do not hit, and that QT was small so it would hurt if he got hit. Tonight, the message seemed to have finally stuck cos I asked if he had nice or naughty hands and he replied “nice hands and nice hands do not hit.

So far, all sets of grandparents and one great-grandma have witness QT getting smacked by Ollie, and they feel the pain for QT. To the extent that my maternal grandmother would hover around and fend off Ollie if he got too close to QT, worried that Ollie may decide to strike randomly. Yes, I do understand why they do it. But I am worried that Ollie might feel a little outcasted. I have seen the expression on his face post strike. A little wary, and a little guilty. May be I am in denial, but I do believe those strikes were not done out of malice or spite, nor jealousy. Most of the times, it seems to be done when he is bored or borderline cranky due to lack of sleep.

I guess it is hard for me to imagine that my little boy would not think twice about hitting someone so defenceless. He has lashed out at me before but those moments were mostly before his nap, if he has not had a nap or he is being forced to do something that he doesn’t want to do. There was a sorta decent reason for it. But this, is entirely new to me and I am trying hard to understand it. Hais..hopefully this phase will end soon!

unconditional

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Daddy's boy

dear Oliver,

hush darling, daddy’s on his way home and as mummy promised, will be sleeping with you in bed tonight.

you’ve had a long day. you went out for breakfast with yeye and told me what you had for breakfast “noodles & char siu” when I asked you about it. And then we went to the airport to see 姐姐 Olivia off as she goes back to Vancouver. I loved the way I saw the both of you hugging each other, and how you bashfully shy away when she gave you a kiss on your cheek. You managed to score some time watching aeroplanes land and take off, your favourite past time each time we go to the airport.

By the time we left the airport, you were sleepy. You finally fell asleep in the carrier, against me. I sent a message to daddy and told him I missed carrying you in the carrier and have you fall asleep against him. Daddy said I should give you loads of kisses on your head and I did. You still smell nice. Haha. That was until you pooped at 婆婆’s house. Then you stank. =P

After dinner, Daddy then called to ask if things were okay cos he had to stay at work a little longer. It meant that I had to shower you and then put you to bed. When it came to putting you to bed, I told you that Daddy was still at work and that I would be the one putting you to bed. My heart broke a little when you said in that sad voice with a sniffle “daddy come home”. Just this morning, when Daddy left the house without you giving him the usual hug and kiss, you looked at me and said, “never give Daddy hug and kiss”. I had to rush to get Daddy before he entered the lift, and he came back to give you the hug you wanted, with a giant kiss and a baby kiss.

You and Daddy have some really great times, especially when the two of you were playing with the Duplo blocks yesterday. Daddy made you a family of giraffes, and you excitedly ran into the dining room with a crocodile made out of Duplo, exclaiming, “this is a crocodile!!”. I love watching the two of you at play. Daddy doesn’t have a lot of time to play with you and I know it means a lot to each of you.

Because of the crappy days we have been having the past few days, I thought that may be you didn’t really want to hang around me. But all of that doesn’t matter now cos you have showed me otherwise. As I put you to bed, I usually have my arm under you so I can pull you towards me. You would start off sleeping on my palm rather than towards me. As you settle down to sleep, you would periodically roll away and then roll back towards me. It was as though you were trying to tell me that it was okay that I was putting you to sleep, you ran your hand through my hair gently, just as I did to try and make you sleep. The other hand wrapped around my head. You would then roll away again, and then roll back towards me, wrap your hands around my face, twiddling my ear before running your hand through my hair again. Daddy said that you would do the same thing to him too.

And I teared. You soothed me as much as I was trying to soothe you, humming “Rock-a-bye Baby” to try and settle you down. You finally fell asleep snuggled against me.

oh Ollie, I hope you know you have our unconditional love, no matter what. You are growing up well, and I hope I do my best to raise you up well. We have many years ahead of us.

I love you.

xoxo
Mummy

Category: Kids, Love | Tags: ,