hey you

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hey you

hey you

hey you, little one. yes, you. you who call yourself “orwy”.

stop being so cute.

Okay, this isn’t meant to another blathering, cutesy post about Ollie. I think there has been enough posts about Ollie. Tsk. But how not to when he continually amazes me with what the human brain is capable of?? (damn psychology degree). Okay, I will try to make this a half Ollie, half rant post.

Thanks to Quentin (yes, that’s what we are naming #2), Ollie and I have been staying home a lot. And when I say a lot, it is compared to my norm. The only places we have ventured to are the wet market, Bedok central, and Tampines. Places where I know I can get home quickly if it is required. Gone are the days of going to Orchard and chillaxing with D. I definitely do not have the energy, nor patience to have to manhandle Ollie if he runs out of control. It is just more manageable at home. Toddler-proofed too.

That and having his naps right in the middle of the day does somewhat makes it hard for us to go out. But we’re cool. We manage our time fairly well, so that when Donald is home, he doesn’t come home to find a crazy housewife staring murderously at Ollie.

Well, we managed pretty well until Ollie fell sick last week. It started off with a lot of sneezing before the fever, cold and cough hit him in one go on Monday. So off to the doctor’s we went. By Wednesday, he was so lethargic that he spent half the time lying on the floor with the cats, or just slouching in a corner on the sofa. He actually fell asleep whilst sitting on my mom’s lap, and almost fell asleep again whilst showering. Haha. It was quite terrible to see him that way. Only plus point about it was the meds made him so drowsy that he would fall asleep within 10 mins for his naps and bedtime. Now THAT is one thing I missed most..but heck, I would rather forgo that than to see him sick.

Thing about our kids falling sick. No one feels any worse that the parent of the child. Of course relatives and friends who see a kid in that state will feel quite sorry for him. But let me reiterate firmly, no one feels it more that the parent of the child. The parent goes through the guilt of “why is this happening to my child?” to “could I have done something to avoid this?” to “was this something that I did with him/her that resulted in this?”. And believe me, these are the very thoughts that goes through each parent’s mind when their child falls ill, gets injured or is in pain.

So I definitely did not need anyone adding oil to fire by suggesting that I was not caring enough for my child. All the more so when I am a SAHM. Because I am the main caregiver and I am responsible for Ollie’s well-being. Up till that very moment when I felt I was being questioned (the said questions may have been asked in passing and not in accusation), I felt that I was doing a pretty good job with Ollie.

The last time Ollie got sick was back in June, a 3-month gap is pretty good if I might say so. Ollie can identify all 26 letters in the alphabets and can count up to 12 with some assistance. He can identify animals and the sounds they make. He has started string two words together. He recognises order and can follow instructions very clearly if in the mood. He can remove his pyjamas and pants himself, take off his sandals and put them back on the shoe rack. He understands when I tell him to wait before allowing him to press the button for the lift. He can handle feeding himself watermelon with a fork, whilst holding onto the plate/bowl, he can hold half a toddler cup of milk and drink it himself with minimal or no spillage. Ollie can repeat words said to him on demand (if he is in the mood haha). He has on one occasion told me he needed to go to the toilet and has successfully peed whilst on a toilet bowl. Although only one occasion, but I consider it a start. It will lead somewhere.

I would think I did pretty well, don’t you think? But funny how an outsider’s perception can easily put someone down. It did for me, and my confidence took a beating that weekend. Fortunately, I had a supportive husband who affirmed that I was doing a good job. Every single look of amazement on my husband’s face when Ollie demonstrates he has developed further is enough affirmation to me that I am doing well. Fortunately I have some friends who understand how I am feeling and have supported me through it. It made me think through about the kind of mother I am, and the kind of mother I am going to be to Ollie and Quentin, and the other siblings that the two boys may have in the future.

I am educated enough to make informed choices about how I choose to raise my children. Just because I do not follow your advice or suggestion doesn’t mean I only disagree with it. I may either disagree with it, or I have another preference that I am more comfortable with. I do not wish to pressure my child into doing something that I feel he is or may not be ready to do. This includes potty training. So stop asking me to potty train him. I allow my child to co-sleep with us cos I agree he sleeps better with his parents. It doesn’t make it into a “habit”. I do not believe in giving vitamin supplements because I believe that he is getting the sufficient nutrients from the food I cook him. He is allowed to be scared of anything he wishes to be scared of cos he is of an age where he may not understand why things happen. Being a “big boy” doesn’t make him less afraid of things. I am 31, and I’m afraid of roaches. So what does that mean? I allow Ollie to eat as much as he wants and as little as he wants. Force feeding only makes him eat unnecessarily more and makes subsequent feeding a lot more miserable for Ollie and I.

And for the record, Ollie is perfect, in size, weight, height. In my eyes, in the nurses’ eyes and in Donald’s eyes. And he is healthy. Stop saying he is skinny. I was a skinny kid and I turned out fine didn’t I? FFS. Just take it he has my genes. Don’t worry, he will put on some weight when he reaches my age.

The bottom line is I am not going to bear the consequences of anybody’s actions towards Ollie. Don’t make me pick up your shit cos I am the one looking after him. That said, I am doing a effing fine job raising my kid, thankyouverymuch. /end rant

Ahh..feels so much better.

That asides, Ollie has been really fun to be with lately (i.e., lesser tantrums and whinging sessions). He laughs off his whinging sessions cos I laugh at him. He laughs himself out of sticky situations (I was peeping to see what he was laughing at all by himself). And the both of us laugh at the silliest things. Gotta love our moments in front of the fridge with the alphabets, drawing sessions and us just lying on the floor in the living room or in his room, staring at each other. Best of all, his hugs and kisses for his younger brother. Though he loves to cheekily call Quentin “kor kor”, even though I think he knows that he is the “kor kor”. Haha.

Can’t wait to see what parenting is going to be like with two boys!

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