in the midst of it all

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in the midst of all the mayhem, chores, and as my life progresses on with two kids, I sometimes have to remind myself of the various roles that I play throughout the day.

as a wife. as a mother. as me.

these days, it is hard to find time to sit down and just veg. To actually construe some form of thought that is vaguely me. Life as I once knew it to be has changed drastically throughout the years. Not that I am a guru of it anyways. The past 4 years have been such a steep learning curve for me. From moving back to Singapore, to getting a job in an industry that I knew nothing about, to being a mother of one, to being a mother of two.

Sometimes it still feels so surreal. A mother of two. Who would have thought? Who would have thought this role would have pushed me beyond what I thought I could handle? Good thing about it, I haven’t thrown in the towel. Not when I am so in love with these two bundle of joys, despite the many frustrations. Not when there are so many moments of laughter that these two monsters bring Donald and I. They are both worth their weight in gold and more.

And in the midst of it all, the amount of couple time that Donald and I have been shaved off to 10 – 15 minutes a day before I end my day, and Donald start his night. I would like to think that both Donald and I are matured in our relationship, but when both of us are tired, even the slightest comment may trigger an argument of epic proportions. With two kids, expectations have changed, with me expecting more of Donald. But hey, we come out of it unscathed, and have a better understanding of our expectations of each other. There are disappointments, but they are made up with even better moments. These 10-15 minutes are precious, as we quickly share our day with each other, and talk about the kids, over fruits, over a pot of tea, over the quiet after the bedtime mayhem.

what about me then? I hardly think about it now. Probably more when I need the sleep and grab the opportunity to take a nap. Haha. Days are now spent about managing time throughout the day to accomplish tasks.

Feed monster #1 breakfast, eat breakfast, spend time with monster #1, feed monster #2, prepare lunch, do the laundry, give monster #1 lunch, feed monster #2, put the two of them down for a nap, take a catnap, clean up any mess around the house, kids wake up, more play time, prep dinner, feed monster #1 dinner, eat dinner, bath monster #2, pack away the toys, mop the floor, wash bottles, space out, shower, sleep.

the me would love to procrastinate for a bit of space out time. but the mother in me would wash bottles so I don’t have to wash the bottles the next day and I would have enough bottles to use. I get away with not cooking some nights, we’d go out and eat. That works for me. I’ve gotten a point in my life where I am saturated with material stuff that I need and want. Too mentally exhausted (brain dead) to think about anything else.

but in the midst of it all, I am contented. It is tiring as it is with newborn. Things will iron their selves out and we’ll be back on track. Donald said we’ll be at this stage for the next 6 years if we stick to the plan of having four kids. Haha. Good luck to us I guess. At least I know I’ll see the light at the end of the tunnel after 6 years.

Category: Daily
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