life with two

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a month has passed, with Quentin being away for almost half of it, and we are finally settling into a groove that we are comfortable in. for the most part of it, Quentin has been settling in quietly, Oliver is adapting loudly and Donald and I are accepting things that we can no longer change candidly. Haha.

Guess this is what being parents of two is like, eh?

Donald was saying we have kids with really good temperament when they are babies. I can’t deny that. So far, QT only fusses when he wants a feed and that is pretty much every 2-3 hours. The rest of the time he spends sleeping. It was only recently that he would open his eyes for a longer period of time. We’d know based on Ollie’s loud exclamations of “弟弟open eyes already!” Hahah, which is pretty cute, until it gets too loud and repetitive early in the morning *groan*. I don’t know how pre-term babies are supposed to be like. I mean, do they sleep that much cos they are still not full-term? QT won’t be full-term till mid-March. I kinda go on the basis that he is sleeping so much because technically speaking, he is still supposed to be in utero. I don’t know if it works that way but it gives me a reason for him sleeping that much.

As much as things are easier the second time round, I did forget what it was like to have a newborn around. It sometimes feels surreal, may be because QT is so quiet. Hrm.

Now, Ollie is a different story. I am thankful that he is adapting to this new addition to the family really well. He is pretty attentive to his younger brother when he is fussing or making noises. Ollie would randomly ask to carry his sibling and lean over to pat or kiss him. It is moments like these that makes me feel Ollie will be an awesome elder brother. Ollie has always shown interest in other kids, so I wasn’t too surprise at this display of affection. On the other hand, Ollie has started to test his boundaries.

Not sure about how others may feel, but personally, I refuse to succumb to the notion of “terrible twos”. I feel that it is how the parents would react and manage the behaviour rather than finding an excuse for the behaviour. Ollie has not throw a mad-ass tantrum yet. We have used distraction as a method when we foresee a potential meltdown. I don’t know how effective it is cos it may be an avoidance thing that we are teaching him rather than learning how to deal with it? May be I am overthinking this. Haha. Ollie is at the stage where he fully comprehends instructions and would sometimes do the opposite to what he is instructed, either acting out due to frustration or being cheeky. He has on occasions repeated what we have instructed him to do previously and have been compliant. Any other times, would just depend on his mood, or the “reward”. Due to lack of sleep, patience have also been running a little thin and there has been a lot of “NO!” & “Ollie, don’t do that!”. A little too much in my opinion.

We have also been careful with peppering our speech with “Quentin this” and “Quentin that”. Would it make Ollie feel bad if everything we did seemed to revolve around Quentin? May be not so much. We kept it generic so that the instruction would apply anyway and not because of Quentin.

Never had parenting become so complicated. Urgh.

And never has routines become so important. Donald and I had discussed slightly on how we would manage with two kids in the morning when he has to go to work..etc. Who would have thought QT arrived before we got any further. Doh. But we have been doing a trial run this week before Donald goes back to work next week. Mornings now start at 6.30am with Donald sorting Ollie out and me prepping for the day ahead. Bedtime prep starts at 7.30pm with each of us handling a kid each before I end my day at 9.30pm and Donald finally having his “me” time when he is done with Ollie. A bit rigid but so far, it works for us. I need that earlier bedtime so I can wake up earlier in the morning and not be a zombie.

But it does mean that Donald and I hardly get any couple time now. Donald now sleeps with Ollie in Ollie’s room, and most of the time I am in bed by the time Donald is done settling Ollie (yes, Ollie now takes forever to fall asleep and I blame longer arvo naps. Bleh). The Saturday nights that Ollie stays over at my parents’ place are so precious to us as we go out with QT on those nights. Haha who would have thought that once upon a time we would be so reluctant to let Ollie go stay over, citing that we would miss our kid and I would suffer from separation anxiety. Now it is a case of planning during the week what we should do on that Sat night that we have free! Hahaha. Good grief, what kind of parents are we?? (Normal..we are all normal to think that way).

Life with two is hectic. It sometimes makes me wanna tear my hair out. It sometimes makes me want to look forward to QT growing up so that I can watch my two boys entertain each other. It has made me look forward to having a third kid. It has made me nervous about heading out with two.

But heck, I wouldn’t swap my life with two for anything else.

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