missing out

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something I learnt from my second pregnancy is how easy it is to miss out on Ollie’s growth.

There was a lot of things that I couldn’t do whilst being pregnant. I told Donald on several occasions that I missed being able to carry Ollie. I missed being able to shower him, I missed being able to do activities with him. And as the pregnancy progressed, I was happy to let someone else step in and do activities with him that I couldn’t do: cycling, taking him out for a walk..etc.

And today, was the first time in ages that I put Ollie down for a nap, gave him a shower and put him to bed. And then I truly realised how much I have missed out. My little monster had grown. He had grown so much. I was no longer able to put his tape diapers on the first band. It had stretched to the second band. He was longer. We went out for a walk to the bank and we held hands all the way there. He had grown taller. His legs hung over the edge of the adult single bed.

How did I miss out on all of this? In my head, he was still that tiny cheeky little monster. He is still cheeky except he is no longer tiny.

Was telling Donald that Ollie had grown so much, and that this was it. Ollie will move on forwards and grow into this boy. On the way back from the bank, he carried the new backpack that the bank had given him. As he dragged my hand forward, I looked at the back of him and could easily envision it when he went to pre-nursery next year (if he got in). It was too cute but too bittersweet. He is growing up too fast!!

Thankfully there is Quentin to keep my cluckiness in check. hahah

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