a couple of things that happened recently have led me to think and maybe even question the way I am raising and caring for Oliver. In addition, I have also been encountering a few strangers whom I believe have been well meaning in dishing out their advices to me in relation to Oliver.
Sigh. Now that, on the annoyance scale is rated as “quite annoying”. But I take it with a pinch of salt. I mena, each to his/he own right?
One of those advices was to send Oliver to child care when he is young, so that he can be independent, learn to sleep on his own, be aware of certain routines (i.e., bath time, nap time), and also learn how to go to the toilet on his own. And also that he would learn alot of things at child care.
Hrm. Even though I never had the intention of sending Ollie to child care for the sake of part time work, I had a quick thought about it before I absolutely banished the idea to the 18th level of hell. I thought about what was I unable to do that a child care was able to do so? The person’s rational was that we would spoil the child if he/she were to remain at home, making it difficult for certain habits to break, like needing to be patted to sleep instead of going to sleep on their own. The child would also pick up new skills easily because his friends (if they are even considered friends then) are doing so. Helloooo peer pressure. The child would also learn to be more independent. The person in question said, it would be very tiring if the child were to be so dependent on them all the time.
Double HRM.
Of course the idea of Ollie coming up to be at 2 years of age, and telling me “mummy, I am going to take a nap now.” and goes off to actually take a nap is REALLY very attractive. But I wondered..at what price?
There are certain areas where I feel that Oliver is fairly independent in right now. He is happy to entertain himself in the play yard for a fairly long time. He is happy to entertain himself when he realises that his parents are not awake, and we a not talking yelling entertaining kind, but jus some quiet play. He is happy to self-feed himself the snacks in front of him whilst I am cooking. He is happy to sit in the stroller for a fairly long period as long as we are moving. Actually he is so happy to sit in the stroller that I am the one who gets separation anxiety and feel the need to put him in the carrier just so he is next to me. Bwahaha. I reckon that is reversed psychology on his part.
I feel that I do not over coddle him, nor do I leave him so much on his own that we do not bond. If he falls over and bumps his head, I do not fuss over him and try to brush it aside by saying it is nothing or try to distract him. This was another area that came into contention. Could it be that I was too aloof about it then? Should I fuss over him a little bit more in case it was something serious? Was it the same as what the person was doing by sending the child to child care?
So darn difficult to strike the damn balance.
But for now, Ollie and I are sharing our moments together. Earlier this morning, he had woken up from his nap crying, and when I got to the room, he had those watery eyes. I picked him up and we sat together in my nursing chair, me cuddling him, and him resting his head against my chest. I hummed his song, “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” and he looked up at me smiling. Moments like this that make me think about it again and say, “ what get so bothered by it? we will get to it when we get there. for now, just enjoy moments like this.”
you, me, forever for the rest of our lives ❤