brothers in crime
independence, giving someone control over their actions. and with more control, comes greater responsibilities.
when it was just Ollie and me, it was kinda easy to allow Ollie to relish in more freedom, to explore and let him figure out how to work out his little life. Hey, I mean, all I needed was just one baby carrier, a bag of essentials and Ollie. We would take morning walks, hand in hand, or even let him walk ahead of me. He loved peeking into the windows of the neighbourhood child care centre, looking at what the kids inside were doing.
“Ollie go school?” he would ask. Soon, darling, when you grow a little older, you’ll get to go to school.
These days, it is harder. Just before QT came along, I made sure Ollie understood the rules of going out with mummy; shoes on, out of the door, into the stroller. I allowed Ollie to walk alongside with me pushing the stroller once. Whoo…big mistake. Think 6mth pregnant woman running after a runaway toddler with the lightweight stroller trailing behind.
DOH.
But I would feel bad, especially when we went out to town for longer periods. Ollie would basically be in the stroller for up to 5 hours, out only when it was lunch. I could not foresee running after a toddler with a baby on me in a carrier. It was very much a controlled event. And those were the early days of us venturing out.
These days, I’ve been getting the hang of going out with the boys. I’ve also been telling Ollie what we were going to do before we left the house, and also telling him that if he deviates, we would take the next bus home, or just put him back in the stroller (if we were using it). It has worked so far. It seems to give him an idea of what is happening and what to expect. And for the past couple of days, I’ve decided to not take the stroller with me, just so Ollie could have more room to move around, see and do more things. And I am pleasantly surprised.
We had more to talk about. Ollie would tell me what he saw and asked what this sound was, or what someone was doing. It was easier to educate him about crossing at an uncontrolled junction. I allowed him more freedom to do the things he asked to do (e.g., press the button to trigger the pedestrian crossing or the lift). He helped me picked groceries from the shelves when I asked him to. The moment we stepped out into the lift, he automatically reached out for my hand and held it. And didn’t let go unless he saw something he really wanted to do.
We’ve been making regular trips to the library as well. I decided to let him out of the stroller and let him explore. The past couple of times have been pretty consistent. He would run to one of the toddler tables, stack a chair, pick a totally random book and sit down to look through it. A boy after my heart. I’m really glad he loves reading and looking at books.
You know how I mentioned that I envied looking at other moms who have kids who seemed to follow them without getting up to much mischief? I figured if I never let Ollie try things out on his own, or allowed myself to let go just a little, I wouldn’t know what Ollie would be capable of. And things have been pretty good so far. Well, apart from one meltdown yesterday where I had to grab Ollie off the floor under his armpits and just board the bus. Even then, it had been pretty funny cos of the things he was saying. Even the passengers close to us were smiling at what he was saying in between his sobs and sniffles.
If every meltdown was like this, I reckon I can handle it. =P (okay, I’m REALLY not asking for more meltdowns thankewberrymuch).
I guess it is a lot about stepping out of the comfort zone and pushing boundaries for myself, in order for Ollie to be able to explore more. Argh..so difficult to let go. One step at a time I guess!
