So the other night, I squeezed some time out of the husband to have a serious chat. A chat about…
#3. Or rather, if #3 were still on the cards. To be honest, haha, ‘no’ wasn’t an option for me. I mean, we were planning to have four! Then downgrade to three. So I am allll mentally prepared for at least three.
And that chat was half a year ago. Today, I’m not so sure anymore. Plans have been postponed cos of unforeseen circumstances. Boo.
But that’s not what this post is about, having a 3rd kid. It’s a post about…*drumroll* my husband’s perspective and my perspective about what we think is what our family needs. Could be a male vs female thing *shrugs* I dunno. Bear in mind, hubby is the one working, and I am a SAHM and we have two kids below the age of 5.
#1 Numero uno: 钱 ?
Hubby’s perspective is that he wants to retire young, have enough money and let the money roll. I mean, he is the sole breadwinner, so of course la. Who dun want to retire early?
He has made sure that he has sufficient insurance coverage so that in the event he passes away early, our family is covered. He thinks that he should invest some decent investment (don’t ask me what they are, I don’t understand it) and allow for dividends to roll in. And he thinks we should not tie up money in just savings.
Me? I am low risk lar. Save save save save save! I can scrimp and save. And I want it in the bank only. Investments have risks leh! You better work till you are 70!
#2 Numero dos: University & ?
Overseas schooling. Both Donald and I were fortunate to be able to go overseas to study even when the AUD was high then (fml, 1.35 then and now?? Gaah) So Donald is all for giving the kids the opportunity to study overseas, so invest!
Me? Well..buy and endowment plan for the kids. This is all we got, kiddo. If we can’t send you, sorry. I know I’m gonna get guilt trip all the way about this, but eh, I’m pretty damn sure we did our best.
#3 Numero tres: kid #3 plus other lifestyle choices
ah, this is the tricky one. What lifestyle choices can we give up to afford #3? Donald is saying we have a choice to make it good for the boys. Why bring a 3rd kid in to squeeze everyone out of a comfort zone, just to satisfy my maternal needs?
Waah low ball. ‘but but..who was the one who said having two kids is too mainstream??’ hahaha. Yes, I see what he meant. But having a 3rd kid..is not just about comfort zone right? The kids get so much more out of it, and so do we as parents, tiring or not!
Btw, Donald is not against having a 3rd kid. We can survive with three kids, but it will require some adjustments. It could mean no fancy holidays, which could mean the 3rd kid loses out by a huge margin. And as he puts it..‘what makes you think the three would be best buddies when they grow up?”
#4 Numero quatro: getting into the right school
This was SUCH a huge debate for us. We just couldn’t agree although he saw the light and compromised.
Donald was all for good school, right social peers. Good school means good teachers and right network of people. Equals President Scholar hahahah WTH.
I’m like..what nonsense! Let the kiddo make his own friends! And if we do our job raising him, he should be able to work out his grades to his own capabilities. Why make the decision for him? To me, good school means possibly stressful environment. So it could backfire.
Who’s the tiger parent now man…
So you see..practical Daddy and emotional Mummy. Which one are you?