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taking a short break

On the business side, things were quiet. But I’m thankful for this short break, allowing me to catch up on work, chores and even baking bread. Phwoar. It’s been a looong time since I baked bread.

It was the week of our 8th wedding anniversary. 

The short break that allowed me to spend decent quality time with Donald. On 20th Sept, we opted for a simple lunch at the mall nearby, and an Itacho dinner at home, delivered by Deliveroo. The boys were happy with the food and I had my time with my husband.

PSA: Just remember to use the Shopback app to get 2.5% rebate for ordering on Deliveroo! (click here for a referral code!)

On 21st, since the boys were staying overnight at my in-laws, I figured I could bake some bread for breakfast. Made enough 湯種 to do 3 types of bread. It took so much time that I ended up doing only 2 types of bread, about 2 loaves each. Made some of the wholemeal dough into little buns for the boys and they loved it (only cos I put a chocolate-caramel chip inside each of the buns. WTH).

I was going to use the remaining 湯種 to make sausage rolls for the boys..but I couldn’t *sigh* I walked into Sheng Siong and had a look at the processed sausages. Saw the ingredients and I couldn’t bear to be the one making them those rolls. Argh. SO.much.preservatives and goodness knows what ingredients. WTH.

Sorry boys. You just have to stick with the milk bread.

It was also the week where there was gifting from two groups of relatives as they prepared for their wedding this month and in November.

We have 3 family weddings to attend for the rest of the year! The boys have been ‘booked’ to open car door, walk down the aisle holding Sarah’s hands (good luck with that one), and to also jump on a bed.

Hahaha I told the relative that the last time the boys jumped on a newly-wed cousin’s bed, they got pregnant 2 months later. So..how long did they want the boys to jump? hahahha

It was also the week we celebrated my maternal grandma’s 88th birthday. 

It was always good to have a reason to celebrate and also have family all gather together. I don’t know about you, but I love family gatherings. I love my grandmas (both paternal and maternal) and am really glad they have an opportunity to see my kids grow up.

But they are getting old. My paternal grandma will be 96 next year. Pretty crazy huh. I wonder if I will live that long.

Breaks are also addictive. I can’t wait for my next break! haha. I have already made a promise to myself that I will get to travel solo when Sarah goes to pre-nursery. But seriously, high chance that I’ll end up taking one kid along with me (cos I don’t trust the husband with 3 and it’ll reduce the mummy guilt from leaving all the kids at home! hahahah).

Category: Daily

mommy’s milestone : Sarah turns 1

Photo taken by: Grow Old With Me (Gideon)

To the 28 year old pre-pregnant me:

Your 3rd child turns one today. Did you know that you were going to have 3 kids? Well, the plan was to have four but you wouldn’t know that it is not going to happen. Maybe not just yet. Cos, you know, accidents can happen.

Except it wasn’t the case for all kids. They are all planned. It wasn’t as easy as you thought it would be. You got emotional when you had been trying and your colleague came back from a holiday..pregnant. But hey, it was only a few months. You will get pregnant eventually. And then go on to have more cos..you felt you needed to baby one kid all the time. Like WTH. Damn you hormones.

How does it feel to have your 3rd child turn one today? Bittersweet. The 35 year old me now had been counting down to the day she turns one. It is a major milestone for me, the last kid, and thinking back on how she had grown in the past year or so.

She started walking unassisted around the house in the past 2 days. The glee on her face, as she strains to run after her brothers. They had been her motivation to walk earlier. Last week, she started climbing the sofa and the toddler chairs. *sigh* you will have your hands full.

You will wonder how you were going to raise her when you find out you were pregnant with a girl, after having two boys. You & I both, we struggle a little with self-esteem, wonder a little about our self-worth, yet we know that this worth should be determined by yourself and not what the world thinks you are worth.

You will come to accept that you are doing fine. And that you are worth..a lot. And you will see that worth in the way your husband appreciates & loves you, and in the way your children treat you.

And despite all the frustrations, overwhelming pressure and stress that society or you may impose on yourself, you will know that your kids love you a lot regardless of how you dress (damn lok kok & all), how you behave (like a crazy woman talking as loud as her son) or how you deal with them.

Cos they only know love from you. You will love your kids so much..it’ll be a pain in the ass. Hahaha.

But you will still wonder how you were going to raise your little girl. The girly girl who shares your passion for shoes and bags, has your temper and knows she is loved, safe and protected by the ones around her. Just by the way she manjas the two of you.

You’ll like it. I promise you. She’s the game changer.

But at this moment, I’m celebrating my milestone of having survived the first year. Wait, scrap that. No survival required. We cruised through it, with the help of family. And it is as you envisioned when you thought about having more kids.

The kids giggling and shrieking in excitement as they run around the house.

The older ones looking after the younger ones. 

The stuff that comes out of their mouth. #shitOlliesez #shitQTsez #shitSarahsez

When they run into your embrace. 

It’s scary as we moved along each phase of their lives, but celebrate as they grow, cos you will grow too. In size (unfortunately, sorry! Please stop buying new clothes, you won’t have a chance to wear them again). In heart (lots and lots of love to give). And in mind (ommm be zen, be patient.)

Now, excuse me whilst I go wish our baby girl happy 1st birthday.

happy birthday, my dear baby girl! <3

Category: Special

a reminder

I just wanted to remember today.

It was one of those days. That moment when that sense of overwhelming frustration just hits. There I was sitting at the edge of my bed, trying to nurse an agitated Sarah who was overtired. Second windI had been sitting there for 15 mins and counting.

Prior to trying to get Sarah to nap, I had given the boys instructions to tidy up their tables, living room and the Lego on the floor. This was the lead up to a movie once Sarah was asleep and the living room cleared. Dinner was not cooked and I was getting annoyed cos I knew the brown rice was going to take 2 hours and it was already 4.30pm.

With an agitated Sarah, who was tossing and throwing herself around in my arms, and the silence outside in the living room, the pressure started to mount. I needed to vent and texted the husband. The mental overload was getting overwhelming. The silence outside..was too loud.

What were the boys doing outside?
Are they tidying up?
Would I still go out to a mess?
How was I going to deal with them apart from withdrawing the movie? 

I needed dessert. Sugar. Something nice. I told the husband that. But I also know he was on my case about cutting down sugar. Argh. That got me riled up as well.

What flavour do you want?’ he replied.

As I thought I also heard the door, I decided,’screw this, she is not yet asleep, let’s go see what is happening outside’. 

No one was at the door. The living room was 95% cleared to my satisfaction (which happens very rarely), and the boys had been keeping the toys quietly so that Sarah would sleep faster, something that I had sorta drilled into them in the early days but..there are days that they still make enough noise to keep Sarah awake.

The pressure was released. I felt some load lifted off. Dinner was not cooked, but all of us were going to be in a better mood. I felt better, not as frustrated as before.

Went back into the bedroom to try and put Sarah down for a nap again. She finally does so by 5pm, and I hurriedly got around to setting up the movie and chips for the boys, whilst telling them to sort out one last area. A promise was a promise.

I couldn’t help but feel that I had the best boys in the world. Tell me that again when I get ready to want to kill them again. hahaha. But heck, it made me feel that for all the moments I felt guilty about not doing stuff with them, I probably did something right to get them onto this path.

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Once I got them sorted with the movie, I went ahead with dinner preps, quickly running through my head what I needed to do first to optimise the time. Cook the rice, preheat the oven, boil water, prep the chicken to be roasted, cut up the veggies and soak, wash the dishes and make some fries. Sarah woke up mid-fries marination, but it’s all good. The major stuff was out of the way.

As I did the dishes, I smiled to myself.

Last weekend, the hubby and I had gotten into an argument cos I had accused him of not helping out with the chores and focusing on personal work. The laundry to be folded had piled up and I had shifted it from the ‘laundry chair’ to a ‘laundry bed’ for the weekend cos the bulk of the clothes belonged to the kids. It had gotten to a point where I was sick of thinking about what household chore I needed to do next. There was always catching up to do.

Just as Donald had naively assumed back in the early days, that as a SAHM, I had nothing much to do, I was guilty of thinking that he doesn’t really do much to help out around the house. He offered to do the dishes, but he would sigh or groan whilst washing, which made me feel like he was ‘judging’. We have since agreed that he will happily wash the dishes without any ‘comment’.

Throwback to yesterday, he came home, stared at the sink full of veggie scraps and then grinned at me before exclaiming,

I’m so happy to be doing the dishes! It’s so great..to see the sink full of veggie scraps!’ 

I couldn’t help by laugh at the absurdity of it. The argument seemed silly then but it had allowed me to vent about the internal pressure I was feeling and to tell hubby what exactly he needs to do (including exclaiming happily about washing dishes! hahahaha)

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It was the school hols last week. The kids were recovering from a cough and cold so playdates were out. I had a busy weekend just before the school hols started, and decided that I was going to take it easy the next week as I was also recovering from a cough and cold. I was spamming lozenges, flu tablets, vitamin C and manuka honey..just to feel alive.

Post school hols, I felt really rested. The boys stayed over at their grandparents some nights, I took them out for lunch, we had a family photoshoot by Gideon from Grow Old With Me (the sneak peek photos were awesome!!), back to the shop over the weekend, rethinking some priorities. I slept early (I mean like 10.30pm) most nights and Sarah was being nice by pulling longer hours! Ahhh what luxury.

Then I had to pay it back with a growth spurt plus teething baby this week. Urrrgh. Why you hate me so much? And why you no call me mama!! >:(

Category: Daily