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14 Valentine’s later

14 Valentine’s

Dear you,

you would wonder what the fuss about this watch is. But bebe, this is now more than a watch. This is you telling me that I matter.

Of course you matter to me! How can you say that you don’t matter to me?’ I could almost hear that indignant exclamation.

When you asked me the all important question of whether I liked you that fateful 17th April, I was secretly grinning whilst chastising you to ask me again when you were not drunk. I was at the point where I felt I was mature enough to handle a decent relationship after a slew of disastrous ones before.

You meant a lot to me.

There was the romancing, surprises and then a lot of practicality and logic came in as we continued our relationship for the next 4 years, then 10 and then now 14 years, with 4 fabulous kids. We have an awesome relationship, we do. And I am thankful for that. You have supported me and taken care of me in many ways.

Well, except the secret girly part of me.

Amidst the practicality, there was the girl in me who yearned for flowers, surprises and little notes. But I struggled with the practicality aspect cos flowers don’t last and they are a waste of money; surprises are hard to come up with and we are mostly tired; and you just don’t do notes. Most times, I’d give myself a mental slap and say..come on, you don’t need this lor. But I secretly wanted to feel special, like more than normal days, can? Like someone was doing something special for me. Especially on 14th Feb, no matter how commercialised it is hahah. Like surprise me dammit!

But practical lor. Cos priorities hor? Laundry has got top priority in my life okay. No food never mind cos can tabao. BUT THE KIDS CANNOT BE WITHOUT UNIFORM. WTH.

Moments like you telling me to sleep my pregnancy cravings off (‘just sleep, it’ll be morning soon and you’ll forget about it’). WHO SAID BEING PREGNANT IS QUEEN HAR?? hahaha. But okay la, you made up for that this latest pregnancy by going out to buy me hokkien me at 10.30pm.

Or I see something that I thought I might want to get, but I’d get less than positive comments about it and it would totally kill my mood. Not you buy for me summore, is ownself want to buy for ownself (albeit using ah lau’s salary). End up being killjoy.

Cos practical lor. It is not life and death. Adulting SUCKS. hahaha. Didn’t help that these days I felt more like a mom than ever. My life revolves around laundry, meals, household chores, keeping the kids alive and getting them into bed on time so I don’t have to deal with cranky kids. Family time is around 1 hour before you put the kids to bed and when they are asleep, it is mostly work time.

But the ones that made its way to my heart, the most precious and memorable surprises that get me grinning each time I think of it:

the first birthday gift, you recording yourself singing happy birthday at places we hang out at in Tasmania (circa 2005)

…you secretly buying the engagement ring that I wanted on the pretext of heading to the toilet (circa 2009)

…how you had planned to propose with said ring (circa 2009)

….a replica of our wedding bouquet in Perth for our 10th year paktor anniversary (actually not supposed to count cos is planned one!)

to 2019, with this watch. I had showed you what I wanted with a screenshot at 9.49am on 13th Feb, and you managed to get it before it sold out. And probably cos I was grumbling in front of the kids about how I never got what I wanted when my husband bought me gifts. #truestory I wait for 10 years leh!

I loved hearing how you went and got it, and how you had to tell R not to get the watch cos I asked her to get the black one for me from Japan. Cos you said sold out and I went and checked the story on G-shock FB page.

I wanted to beam when you handed me the box but I didn’t want to let you off easy yet. Heng I didn’t cos YOU SAID IT WAS MEIJI MELTY KISS (WTF, box similar size summore.) Then you saw me beaming, once I opened the box right. haha. It’s not just about the watch, it is about you heading out to go get it okay! It’s not the first choice but it is WAY better than first choice, cos MY AH LAU BUY ONE! kekekeke. Not ownself buy. =P

Thanks for satisfying and making this secret girly girl super happy. <3

Category: Special

one of those days

‘mummmmmy’ I heard a whine from outside my door, and a tiny little person wanders in.

mummmmmy.’ Sarah comes over to the side of my bed. I lift her up whilst lying down and place her on me. She quiets and just lies on me. I look at my phone, it is 5.22am. I sigh inwardly, my morning is starting very early today. By 6am, she whines for some breakfast, and I follow her out of my room before she launches into a loud wail and wake the rest of the household up.

I spread some chocolate hazelnut spread on a slice of bread, give her a container of expressed breastmilk and watch her eat. Just two of us. And my thoughts wander, at the things I planned to do for the 2.5 hours I get each morning.

Debating if I should..

head to the market to get some eggs because I would need them for waffles;

mop the floor cos it has been a few days since the last mop and there were foot/hand prints around;

change the dehumidifiers which I didn’t manage to do yesterday;

do work;

or head back to sleep.

And then I thought about the events that happened yesterday, where I got frustrated with the kids over laundry folding, over keeping the toys, and over the newly minted 5-yo who decided to spit veggies into a prepared bath tub of water for Alex’s bath.

I snapped. I was dealing with a cranky toddler who was sleepy and wanted dinner; dealing with the 5yo who wasn’t eating and being selective about the food he wanted to eat; dealing with a baby who wanted my attention. And my 5yo decided that I wasn’t handling enough and decided to spit veggies into the tub. I yelled at him and I was so upset that I cried.

I told him that I really didn’t like him at the moment, and he could just go do whatever he wanted to do. And he burst into tears. I didn’t feel bad about it then. I was that upset. I was tired. And tired of attending to my needs last again. Dammit, I bought my favourite yusheng from Din Tai Fung yesterday so that I could just share it with Daddy Ting and not eat scraps. WORTH EVERY SINGLE CENT.

Last to eat and food is all cold cos I had to feed the baby/put baby to bed;
first to be awake so the other two kids can sleep in longer whilst I prepped Oliver for primary school, last to sleep cos I had to catch up on some work;
I couldn’t even enjoy CNY cos I was too tired.

6 weeks into the year, and I am still slowly figuring out a routine that would work for me and work for the kids. I find I barely have enough time for anything else, a very thin line between wanting to take a quick break and catching up on work/chores. A slight change/delay in routine basically means having my sanity tested at 5pm onwards. I run a very tight schedule from 11am onwards.

My social life has been digitised – I depend on Facebook, Instagram and Whatsapp to catch up with my friends. Self-care, is officially a luxury. Haha.

I wondered about some of the decisions I make and made.

When Quentin had UTI and we decided against some of the tests and medication as we did for Oliver, and later we found out that there were some issues with Quentin’s kidney, I wondered if we had made the right choice and those issues with his kidney were the result of the choice we made.

When I decided that I was tired of being pregnant and wanted Alex out once we hit 37 weeks, got her induced.

When we decided that changing primary schools was a good idea cos it was nearer to us and we would be saving heaps on transportation fees but the younger kids ‘suffer’ cos they get lugged around for school pick ups.

How do you even know if you were making the right decisions there and then?

And when you make decisions because you think they are the right ones, or you want to do it, but when you get bogged down and get comments like ‘nobody ask you to do it.’, like damn sian right? *roll eyes*

(Backstory: Okay, I was deciding if I wanted to make waffles at 6am in the morning cos Oliver had requested for it yesterday and it was a flat out no cos it meant I had to wake up extra early to make them. But since I was already up early, so I thought I could make some right..I realised we were short of 1 egg, so I was deciding if I wanted to make the effort to half all the ingredients…before deciding to just scrap the idea.)

Bam, and it is 6.30am. These thoughts and in between answering the toddler’s questions and shushing her to keep her voice down so she doesn’t wake up the rest, and keeping the dried dishes, tidying up the kitchen.

I had also decided that I will

– get the faffing eggs so we can make waffles (cue ‘you don’t need to entertain Ollie’s request for waffles what, that is not important’ vs ‘dunno buy one waffle machine put at home for what’) BECAUSE I WANT TO OKAY (f***ing mental conversations);
– screw
mopping the floor cos I am NOT going to pick up the toys;-
write this post cos I think my blog deserves some attention and a post to remind me of this period; and
– skip sleep so that I can write this post, haha.

So..how is this #humpdaywednesday happening for you?

Category: Daily

Review: Floral Garage Singapore

I..have a love-hate relationship with flowers.

I absolutely love flowers. I love receiving them. In my entire life, I think I can count on two hands the number of times I received flowers. I get all tingly when I receive them (always from someone special). And because I so rarely receive them, I actually do kinda blush when I receive them haha. Hubby can attest to that when he gave me the 3rd bouquet of flowers in my life!

Then there is the other part of it, where I don’t like them. Cos I dunno what to do with them after they’ve reached the end of the lifespan! I’ve dried them, pressed them but they don’t turn out the same. I thought I dried my wedding bouquet properly, and yet when I took them out of the box after shipping them back to Singapore, I found it mouldy. I WAS SO UPSET. Hubby made up for it by giving me a close replica for one of our wedding anniversaries. hehehe.

So whilst I love receiving flowers, a part of me cannot justify that the money spent on it is..gone. Of course it is the meaning behind it lah! But I cannot keep it then howwwwww.

So this is where Floral Garage Singapore comes in. I was a little reluctant to accept a bouquet from them cos I sure kena ngiam from hubby about the flowers once they start wilting. Cos not he give mah. *roll eyes* But…jeng jeng jeng jeng, There are such things as preserved flowers! Now that goes easier on my eco-warrior heart. These are real flowers that are gonna last forever.

I had selected the Rudolph from their Christmas range. It arrived on the day I was expecting it, and it came scented!

no Xmas tree? No biggie!

We don’t have a Christmas tree but I wanted to have a little corner where it would give us a little festive cheer during the Christmas season. I squeezed some space out of Oliver’s table to put up these decorations. The Rudolph fitted right in. I don’t even need to dismantle a tree haha.

How about the lunar new year? Got that covered!

Rudolph entering the lunar new year

Got my rose gold onglai, some mandarin oranges, our one measly container of lunar new year goodies (must diet!) and we’ve got our set up! Seeeee, all can be reused one!

So for this year, they have a preserved floral arrangement for Valentine’s

forever & always

Imagine this arrangement sitting in your room/on your desk for a looong time cos it is preserved. PLUS it doesn’t smell musty as I expected it to be. It has a light floral scent! You can also easily put a note on the box to mark down the year you received it too!

My order was seamless and without any hiccup. All I needed to do was to state the date and time for delivery (there were a couple of timeslots), and I cheekily asked the owner, Chesna, to write me her wisest advice for a mom of four, which she happily obliged. Emails were very promptly responded too, making the entire process very uneventful!

If you are looking for a bouquet for Valentine’s Day, definitely check out Floral Garage Singapore at their dedicated Valentine’s Day site: https://valentines.floralgaragesg.com/  They are currently a 10% discount promo on their site if you are to place an order by 7th Feb!

Thanks again for sending me such a vibrant bouquet!

 

Category: Reviews