just some tings.

are you a millennial parent?

This article in July’s issue of Singapore’s Child about millennial parenting has struck a chord with me. To be honest, I never considered myself to be a millennial. Then again, I am someone who hasn’t quite figured out the Gen Y, Gen X and then millennial terms. Let’s just put me in the ‘confused’ category hahaha.

So who are the millennials?

‘This group of people largely constitutes of anyone from 16 to 36 years of age, and is a group with seemingly very distinct personalities, lifestyle choices and life philosophies…..A 2014 report found that five in 10 Singaporean millennial parents say they’re intentionally raising their children differently from how they were raised.’

*raises hand* Yup. That’s me alright.

Signs You Are A Millennial Parent:

1. You are open to challenging traditional parenting norms.
2. You believe in coming up with your own style
3. You subscribe to a cause

I can relate to basically all of the above!

Norms? Being a norm in the non-norm. 

Okay, the article did mention that we were probably taking mental notes as a kid as to what I was definitely not going to do to my own kids (namely the caning and punishments). But how far away was I from doing it? Well, let’s just say I’ve kept to 75% of my word, with the other 25% due to frustration when I just snap. If you read my blog long enough, you would know we go by the gentle parenting approach. It doesn’t mean that I remain nice all the time and kiddo doesn’t get to cry, but some days I do know that I have to set the boundaries and if it means tears, there will be tears.

I am also fortunate to have that opportunity to live overseas and babysit some kids, see how friends raise theirs, and discover the various parenting methods that I felt comfortable with. Being internet savvy also meant that we could just simply ‘Google’ up information to affirm what we want to believe or..well, it could lead you the other way and ‘diagnose’ your child with ADHD based on what you were searching for!

We attend pre-natal classes and with it being scientifically backed, of course we become the gurus and go all ‘nononono, the instructor said no water if fully breastfed!‘ to the ‘just a sip to rinse their mouths!’

Confinement? What confinement? I am craving for an ice cream sundae and THOU SHALT GET ME ONE 2 HOURS POST DELIVERY. I believed in a stress-free post delivery recovery period. Being a control freak, I absolutely cannot allow a stranger to tell me what I can and cannot do. Cold water, showers, eating anything and everything I wanted, thankewberrymuch.

The Tings’ Style

I think the best compliment anyone has paid me is telling me that she loves the way I mother my kids and that my kids are blessed.

Wah. That was a MAJOR ego boost. It felt like I was doing something right, amidst some naysaying. Parents are judgemental. I admit that. We go out and we see something happening to a kid (tantrum throwing etc) and we think ‘I’m glad that’s not my kid’ or ‘omg, why is the parent not doing anything?’ So so easy to pass judgements.

Our style is obviously not all new agey. It is pretty much but with a pinch of salt. We’re a mix of the new and old. Certain traditional still works better for us cos of the convenience (eg. feeding vs baby led weaning). At the end of the day, it really boils down to what retains your sanity. There is no one right method. My kid may not adapt to what I want to do anyways. If there’s baby led weaning, how about baby led growing? Let them choose! Nah, new style. The ‘confused’ style.

The CAUSE

Yes. There are a few causes I subscribe to. Being environmentally conscious in our household (err..most of the time hor. Heatwave, pregnant momma needs aircon so please don’t crucify me), lots of freedom to love and to love generously

We have a little recycling box and Ollie knows what goes in there. He knows that sometimes I will take some containers from home to go to the market to take away some food. He knows that we should not use the air conditioning unnecessarily until mommy is melting hahah (just kidding).

The freedom to love. I wish it was this simple but until there is more tolerance, I can see that it will be complicated. Some of the closest friends to us are in a same-sex relationship, and they will be the people who will be there for my kids. For now, my kids look beyond that but one day, they will ask and I will be honest with them. That it is not wrong to love freely.

To love generously. To treat everyone with respect. The kids know their neighbours, they know the wet market vendors and they greet the grandfatherly Muslim cleaner for our block on the way to school with a resounding ‘Ah Tuk!!’ who acknowledges the call with an ‘AYE!’ and a wave. To honestly explain why some people behave the way they do and let them make the judgement call themselves.

So are you a millennial parent? What are your parenting styles? I would definitely love to hear all about it!

Also in this month’s issue: exciting giveaways for the whole family, from Singapore Repertory Theatre’s The Three Little Pigs musical tickets to The Magic Spicebox cookbook, sure to leave your family entertained and their palates satisfied. This is definitely an issue brimming with goodness!

Disclaimer: tings.sg is the Digital Partner for Singapore’s Child and I received a complimentary issue of the magazine for review purposes. All opinions are solely mine and are written as objectively as possible.