the ollie-monster
Today was just one of those days.
You know, the day where patience is tested, torn between frustration and wanting to try and understand why the Ollie-monster was behaving a certain. That, on top of QT deciding that he will only take 30-minute naps and will ONLY sleep longer if he is sleeping on me, next to me or carried by me in the carrier.
Oh, that on top of me being sick. Ohhhh the joys of motherhood eh? But these days are the very moments that make me wonder why I want to have more kids. Like, are you nuts?? Are you sure you want to put up with more of these when you could be done with these two?
And of course with QT being clingy, it makes it hard for me to do anything else and where I can squeeze time out to quickly cook lunch or do some chores or putting QT to nap (again), it ends up coming out of Ollie’s time because..I think he would understand. But I feel bad.
I would get peppered with requests like this in his little hoarse voice (he is still down with a cough and bad throat):
“mummy, can you sit down and do puzzle on the floor with Ollie?”
“mummy, where aaare you? Can you come out of the room please?”
“mummy, can you put 弟弟 in the play-yard and come and play with me please?”
It’s hard to say no, and I tell him “can you wait for a moment? Mummy needs to …”
Some mornings when it is good, QT naps on schedule, Ollie gets some iPad time, and mummy gets to do some work. Sometimes we get bonus extra time and like today, we had some cookies and I taught him to dunk his cookie in milk which he said was “very nice! Ollie’s favourite”
And then there are the moments where of course I am trying to put QT to nap and Ollie just wants to be in the same room as I am, and talk and pretend play. And dear QT is at the stage where he is fascinated with his older brother and wants to play whatever 哥哥is playing (or rather put it in his mouth). Which basically means as long as Ollie is in the room, QT will not nap regardless of how cranky and sleepy he is.
SIGH.
Which means I got lesser time to do things and I can’t really put QT down because he will start crying, and it means once I get some freed up time, I still don’t get to play with Ollie cos there is stuff to be done. And this mama gets frustrated then, and gets short with Ollie. I get upset, Ollie gets upset, and on cue, QT will probably wake up, still cranky.
Go us.
I feel bad. I watch Donald playing with Ollie and they seem to be having so much fun. Simple things like using the alphabets to make new words. And I am thinking as I am prepping QT’s bath, I should be playing with Ollie like this. But I am not. Ollie is happy for me to even write alphabets with him on paper, or read the book we borrowed from the library. Well, those are the simple things we do every day.
Lately, I have taken to smacking his hands when he does something he has been told not to do repeatedly. And when I say repeatedly, it means for the past couple of days..or even weeks. And he knows he is not supposed to do it and will look you in the eye whilst doing it. That super IRKS the shit outta me, cos that is like some uber brat behaviour that I will not tolerate. There has been threats, actual carrying out of said threat, smacking on hands, after all the “please-do-not-do-it.” have been exhausted. I am not at the point of hopelessness yet, thankfully.
There are little moments of sanity and laughter. And Ollie knows how to work it. He catches when I am smiling or laughing, moments after he has gotten into trouble, and he will say, “but mummy is happy with Ollie again. mummy is smiling”. Between Donald and I, I probably discipline Ollie more, although Donald may be fiercer. At the end of the day, if he gets told off by either of us, he comes back to me for a hug and cuddle. Which makes me feel at the top of the world, that for all that has happened, for all the shit bestowed on me by this Ollie-monster, that particular moment is worth it all. Cos Ollie wants mummy to soothe his hurt away.
I guess I just need to manage my emotions, patience and time even more now that QT is getting more demanding (i.e., feeding, sleeping, etc). Oh QT is another story. But for now, let’s just work on Ollie.
Goooo mummy.